Category: relationships

Soul Confusion

I was your pink girl universe,
but you, Two Spirit,
asked me to look up,
full faith, feel sky lift
your language world big,
I, little and like morning, gentle,
always open –
one sister soul
making life a play.

(Friday is magnetic poetry.  Play online.  Image from personal collection – available on Society6 – KnutsonKreations.)

Uncomfortable Compromise

Caught relaxing –
ignorant sleep,
treacherous faith

beneath security
salvation preyed upon,
skin-crawling danger

support ill-gotten
rescuer threatening
outcome beastly

misunderstood
I am off-work,
harassed

refuse light
failed legs
kicking back

enemy projects
feigns warmth
damage protected.

I’ll compromise
exert smiles
exit and breathe.

(Today we attend a memorial service for a friend.  My former co-workers will be in attendance including one who tried to stir up trouble for me in my absence.  Grant me strength.  I’m linking this up to Reena’s Exploration Challenge which is compromise.)

 

Keep Learning

Tyrannical,  my father’s reign; the ensuing understanding of relationship dynamics twisted.  Violence and threats peppered with “I love you”, as if one was synonymous with the other.  I cowered with the rest, shame a heavy weight.

Oppression dictates
warped sense of love, intimate
nightmare – relearning.

(For Reena’s Exploration challenge #89.  Relationships have been the theme of my dreams lately – thus the reversal to childhood.)

Raven and Snake

That day, crossing the parking lot,
raven swooped past, snake in clasp –
I took it as a sign, hurried my steps.

The ward nurse stopped me,
revealed the end was near,
appointed me bearer of news.

Me, whom you loved to hate –
lashed with brash comments,
unforgiving of my youth.

Unsurprising, your wrath,
and then the threats –
to be cut from your will

Deeply ingrained the need
to hate, to blame – lawyer
didn’t comply, I remained

Represented you in death,
sorry for a life of lies ,
how often you had to pretend

to love men,
to not be lonely,
that alcohol solved all

Miss you even now –
your caustic presence
irreplaceable, left a hole.

Don’t regret finding you,
getting help, staying
bedside as death knocked.

You’d do the same –
intrinsically linked,
the raven and the snake.

(Linked to Reena’s Exploration Challenge where the prompt is to write about sudden, magical events.)

The Toll

Am not the woman my children once called Mother –
can see the disappointment in their anger-blotched
expressions, feel the constraint in their voices –

distance between us tugs on my heart, plays with
my conscience, as if illness is choice – a contrived
plot to rob them of their expectations –

hope they can forgive me before it’s too late;
hope they can forgive themselves.