Hiding Shame

When did guilt obviatethe need for sustenance? This deipnophobia paralyzingheartless stares dredge up my truth: insatiable hungerneed to stuff down emotion the certainty that I deservedthe abuse – endless shame My fork traces the outlinesseparates food groups My mind makes mental notesof what I’ll gorge on later. (Deipnophobia is the fear of dining in public. […]

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Toxic

I drink the backwashof hollowed out promises Is it me, invites indifferenceexpectations so low, selfgowned in layered shame? How do I learn otherwisebreak this toxic patternif not in pursuit of love? (Tuesdays I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own)

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Confessions To A Dreamcatcher

Rebellion rages in my veins, Dreamcatcher, so tightly wound I have blocked hopeI want to be good – a good girl –like that man of God saysbut his preaching ways violateprophecies a cover for sinand I am so sullied that I fearlove will distain me. How did I get here, Dreamcatcherchildhood a lost notion – […]

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Basement

Concrete is cold, imposingdoes nothing for aesthetics At least we’re protected,I tell the littles, ignoring Snot dripping, slimeoozing from unsealedwindowsills, cobwebsand bits of shedding pink It’s the best I can do:four walls and a roof. Except the ceilingis bulging, mold and rotcertain to rain down on us While upstairs, the manignores the leaks, luxuriatesin his […]

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This Is How It Happens

Cherubic and reekinggrief’s pallor heavyhe comes to me Of course, he doesI am schooled in compassionseldom flinch at raw pain I attend to the woundslisten; reassurebut I am weary My own sorrow unattendedloss and betrayal an inner bleedknow I have only so much to give But he is not alone,there is anothera mere child… Cherubic […]

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Just Saying

I wade through the muckof your vocal excretionsanxious to mend the schism What species of humanare you, would fabricatesuch lies, impose such pain And what species am Ithat would tolerate it;strive for reparation? (Image my own)

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Love Lessons

Had a weird sort of lexicon the man who professed to be my dad – Clamped in his chokehold he’d demand words of devotion Became inured to this dichotomy – spent a lifetime searching for love – Just the right balance of cruelty and kind. (Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson.  Sketch mine.)

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Coming of Age

Green eyes captivate, he whispers, warm hand resting on youthful thigh Stomach somersaults reviled by whiskey breath yellowed fingers clutching Not these eyes! I stand tossing my drink in his face; coming of age moment.

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Fight For Truth

Legends make and legends break and some are clouds for truth… We stalk fame Wear blinders Deny greed Worship lust Somber propositions streaked with blood outsmart watchful eyes Run to save the children those vulnerable ones wounds still tender No matter how guarded no matter how impenetrable the walls expose the beast, fight the devil […]

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Shame and Weakness

I paint smiles to mask the stench Greed’s perfume triggering an avalanche shame cannot hide the fear, trembles threatening to divulge weakness. (Image by yours truly.)

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