More Hole Than Whole

The woman in the mirror is flawed
age spots where freckles once sprouted,
streaks of white, peppering former auburn,
inner scars marking discontent.

How then is she expected
to know wholeness?

In days when mind was sharp
self-confidence wobbled;
where spirituality was planted,
self-judgment undermined.

The path to wholeness
pitted with potholes.

How often emotion overrode
common sense, and choices
led her astray, how thick
the mud of guilt she mired in.

Repulsed at her own reflection
she was anything but whole.

Less self-defacing these days
she examines the worn bits
with wry acceptance –
acknowledges the toil.

If wholeness is perfection,
she’s ready to let go.

(Image my own. AI enhanced)

Nature is Like That

A wren showed up the other day,
heard him before I saw him,
took over the Chickadee nest,
killed the babies and settled in.
Nature is like that.

I witness with horror and awe
the chickadees move on –
reproduction is industry –
I watch the wren couple now
build their nest and sing aloud

Goldfinches love the chase,
yellow darts of joy;
I shoo away the Grackles
bully birds from my angle
but they know I mean no harm

Only the Cooper’s hawk
commands silence
birds scattering in cover of green,
fierce eyes scour the yard –
I cannot look away

Someone’s been digging
in the flower bed,
hibiscus tops disappearing
the gardener outsmarted,
and delighted, at every turn

A bobcat showed up at dusk
prowling the perimeter
the lush offerings tempting
despite the proximity of a house.
Coyote has braved it too

Heat confines me indoors,
sun twinkling off swaying leaves,
humid the breeze that compels them.
Later they’re calling for storms
a tumultuous reprieve

Sunrise and we’ll begin again
routines and surprises
birdsong and animal antics;
me in my chair, mesmerized.
Nature is like that.

(Image my own)

Afraid To Fly

I chase dreams
never daring to rise
beyond the water line

keeping to the reeds
and shoreline of familiarity
afraid of being shot down

Afraid that dreams aren’t mine
to claim, that I am damned
doubled cursed as woman
and child of sin

I will fall often
drown in pools of stagnation
till one day these wings

A mind of their own
will lift me up
and catch those dreams.

(Image my own)

Colouring Lessons

Favourite colour?
Black, says she
without hesitation;

I falter, stumble
mind reaching –
who likes black?

Is that a colour?
It’s all colours,
she’s nonchalant

intent on task –
carefully keeping
within the lines

Of course it is,
ill equipped am I
to disagree, images

of dark somber
corners, sorrow
and death crows –

Why black? ask I –
composure forced –
had anticipated pink

equate childhood
with primary shades
splotches of yellow

and rainbow skies
candy red apples
on lollipop trees

but black? no –
black obliterates,
negates, destroys

It holds the colour
inside, 
she explains;
It’s the outline.

Not annihilation –
order; her mind
conceives of order

so much to learn
from innocence
have long forgotten

the art of staying,
within lines, finding
good in all things.

(Drawing from a different granddaughter: her GG)