People ask: “How can you be so sick; you’re a strong person?” Or I am too positive of a person – how is it possible?
What if it is because of these very things that life has chosen me for a master class – a spiritual quest – not for the weak of heart? What if it’s because I’m a good student?
(Image and art mine)
This life a road –
the way prepared
signs to guide me,
and still, I get lost.
Construction, distraction,
disobedience – throw me off –
tendency to choose tougher routes,
broken down and been sidelined
And yet, the road still beckons,
invites progression, thrills.
A rolling stone gathers no moss,
my father liked to say, and so…
I push ahead, keep motoring,
trust the obstacles – more lessons –
will polish off the rough patches,
and eventually learn to shine.
I thumb through social media, make lists, scan through photos, put the kettle on, check emails…
…evade the moment…
What am I afraid will happen if I just pause and be?
Maybe I should I try it and see…
(Image my own)
Clouds bundle
shift and fold
cotton strata
Trees huddle
confidence in
community
Emotions stack
one on another
co-mingling hues
Beneath layers
an eternal glow
sun certainty.
(First published April 2021. Image my own)
I can’t remember a time
when elegance chose me
to sit in the front seat
ride along in style
She’d be clad in white
and I’m ever too messy
can’t control myself
might tarnish the upholstery
She’d want to go shopping
rings and jewels flashing
like Pretty Woman
after the haul
I’m second-hand
typically slink in and out
grabbing what I need and going
lest anyone see me – a disgrace
No, elegance does not choose me
moose built, ratty hair
likely forgot to wash my face
Class passes me by
But I’ll tell you this –
what I lack for on the outside
this heart is solid and sturdy
and I will not pass you by.
(Image my own)
(This is found poem, previously posted on OneWoman’s Quest II)
I’ve lived the fog of distance –
life’s highway a series of hills
destination without promise
Have learned that acceptance gains perspective,
that climates change, and hope sustains,
and that in the stillness dreams renew.
Now I travel quieter paths, appreciate
space, have surrendered to a slower pace –
certain that this too will change.
(image my own)
Expectations artificial
living in an urban jungle
longing for nature’s calm –
time moves too swiftly
barely register
let alone participate
We are guests in our own
expectation’s dysfunction
licensed for depression
a smorgasbord for abuse
intentions mislaid,
disappointment unavoidable
The ego pretends to be open
but she’s an actress off cue
playing out a sentence –
condemned to basics
praying to escape
this dystopian malfunction.
(Image my own)
It’s like aiming for the ideal
and settling for second best
Setting your life up for success
then sabotaging the outcome
It’s like committing to a dream
with blinders on – threats ignored
I know where I want to be
have tasted the serenity
steeped in beauty
and lived with peace
Yet the noise continues
the daily bustle,
the inevitable stench
my soul being griddled
It’s what I’ve known, isn’t it?
sanctity at a price –
the absolute terror
of selling out for peace of mind
I will plant gardens here
at the edge of insanity
and outline my future
denial at my side.
(Art my own)
Upgrading –
setting new standards
learning anew
Kin/ heritage
pursues me –
influence
and legacy
Timid concerning
the unspoken
the understated
Seduction courts
a response –
I am flush with possibility
basking in attention
But God is calling me home –
reminds me of mortality
humbles me in situ
I am already engaged
passion in the moment
dalliances redundant
(Self portrait created blind with acrylic paint and palette knife)
One Woman's Quest 