My son used to burn himself
press the lit end of a cigarette
against his bare flesh
an attempt to penetrate
the numbness –
this I know
because I did it too
walking barefoot in the snow
cutting till blood oozed
there is a pain
familiar to adolescents
that bears no explanation
a hellish limbo –
suspended between innocence
and adult expectations
unable to articulate
the wrongs endured
or separate shame
from responsibility,
an inexplicable grief
and longing…
…longing to understand
at least for a moment
the pain one dare not feel.
(Image my own)