Bureaucratic Dystopia

Bureaucratic automatons privy to personal dilemmas fuss over delegated tasks – vessels sans initiative – policy makers overriding common sense, common decency paper pushers passing verdicts condemning downtrodden, unable to fight whose day-to-day living – questionable at best – lacks the necessary survival guide – procedural forms dehumanize suffering, cubby-holed egos void support, icily authoritative […]

Missing Lessons

No point hanging onto past – education is not preparation when illness decides to drop in neither Algebra, nor Social Science offers clues for solving the equation: Life minus ability equals:  what? Curriculum based on harsh realities would instruct how to tie up loose ends, gather what’s important, remain calm while filling prescriptions and countless […]

Vegas Vampire

Envision Vegas – the first time – adrenaline pumping, palms itchy, wide-eyed incredulity, and … the most unreliable, stuck-in-the-mud relative in tow, and no reservations made; and while one wants to dive in the other would rather be home knitting and listening to bird calls than  traipsing through costumed Elvis’ – glitzy hotels are too […]

Appearances

Testing social waters – that cherished state of interaction – prone to revealing too much, learning have been homebound, studying life without a facilitator, now attempting to penetrate invisibility – see me now? gathering the salvageable bits – minimal fragments of a once whole woman – reaching out, reconnecting – mixed receptions admittedly much has […]

Party Adverse

Will not catch me gavotting at a party in the Carly Simon vein – am reluctant at best, certain my flaws are neon, fear scrutinizing attention. Throw a boss in the mix and I am all bumble, cringe with each idiotic phrase I utter, terrified to implode – immortalize my inadequacy. Course, it’s all nonsense […]

Qualifier

Hurdles line up before me, am I at the starting gate? Who will hire me? Will I be able to learn? Can I leave the house? Each bar set higher, formidable tasks to achieve, doubting.. state of dependence, chronic ailments, undercut propulsion.. have cleared course of busy, overworking professional attire.. have the motivation to rejoin […]

Suspended

What options for long term care? Will life linger, abandon me, alone? If unconditional love exists, then let it talk to me, gesture desire, offer support – safety only comes with sleep despite this troubled unconsciousness; oversensitive, naive perhaps, will make it, if only I push outside the comfort of my bed. suspicious of following, consuming, […]

Portrait Of A Disability

Accessible living – exercise of uncertainty – parking lot nightmares, doorway barricades, shopping intolerable. Separate sleeping quarters – no access to slumber; more mishaps than a puppy; broken, despicable, disconnected. Inherently wise hover over disclosure of disease, claim proprietorship, push acceptance of causal theories. We are innocents, tender-hearted, veil our hurt, refuse to be driven […]