Chickadees in the House

A friend from my poetry circle honoured me with a birdhouse painted with Ukrainian colours. John has since passed away, and this summer we were finally able to give the birdhouse a home in our garden.

Happy to say, John, that the chickadees have settled in and I am joyfully reminded of you everyday.

This Life A Road

This life a road –
the way prepared
signs to guide me,
and still, I get lost.

Construction, distraction,
disobedience – throw me off –
tendency to choose tougher routes,
broken down and been sidelined

And yet, the road still beckons,
invites progression, thrills.
A rolling stone gathers no moss,
my father liked to say, and so…

I push ahead, keep motoring,
trust the obstacles – more lessons –
will polish off the rough patches,
and eventually learn to shine.

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis

May is Myalgic Encephalomyelitis awareness month. Also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, this disease is characterized by exhaustion after exertion. The exertion can be physical -taking a shower; emotional – worrying or obsessing; or mental- filling out forms.

The best source of information about ME/cfs, as we call it, is the Bateman Horne Center. They offer resources for patients, caregivers, and the medical field.

Unfortunately, not much has changed since my diagnosis in 2014. Medical professionals continue, for the most part, to know little about this disease. It’s frustrating from the part of a sufferer, and discourages me from seeking help.

I’m sure I’m not alone.

Sorry

Sorry –
so much inadequacy
bundled into one word
as if five letters
can convey
depths of regret,
shock, dismay

seems I am the spark
to your lighter fluid –
unintentional, I swear

still reeling
from the aftermath
of the explosion

attempting to
deconstruct the
formula –
precautionary

I am sorry –
that you are enraged,
that you are so obviously disappointed
that you are consumed with resentment –
except, it is sadness, not regret that I feel.

I cannot own this,
was always honest,
forthright,
did not feed your expectations

Besides,
learned long ago –
we don’t have the power
to make anyone
feel anything
least of all,
sorry.

So I’m not sorry,
but maybe
if you could just tell me,
give me an inkling
of what you might need
I can help us out of this hole.

(Image my own)

What We Really Need

We purchase boards
imagine roots –
dream bigger
ignore the dawning

The higher the fence,
we tell ourselves,
the better the privacy.
Work hard, earn big.

And the longing grows
it’s the heart that seeks roots
hungers for connection
love like sunshine

Would knock down walls
throw open the doors
bask in the expansiveness
of kindred moments shared.

(Image mine)