One Woman's Quest

Be As the Bloom

Are we awake
barely breathing?

Mounting raucous
shattering sensibility

Hatred building
rights withering

Who will survive?

I, chirps
the solo bloom

Timid-voiced
overlooked

radiant in her fragility
confident

Breathe

(Art my own)

Boxes are filling up around us. We’re making a dent in our to-do lists. Doubt seeps in. Are we doing the right thing?

Then I remember all the reasons behind making this choice and affirm:

We are dismantling one life to build another, purposeful existence.

The movers need to be arranged, and the closets sorted and packed, and when was the last time we bought groceries….

Head and attention are going in too many directions at once, and I’m exhausted before I get started. Might be a little cranky too.

The stress of moving is real.

Sidestepped comfort
dared to breach
personal boundaries

Knew it was a stretch

Uncouth, this bodily response
pain penetrating

Dark thoughts wrestling
inner rebel smirking

I gleaned a moment of freedom
But at what cost?

(ME/cfs is characterized by exhaustion following exertion. Post Exertional Malaise (PEM) is the result, causing symptoms to flare.)

On our family chat, the kids have been making fun of the number of times I have moved house. Later, my daughter ask me about it.

“Don’t you feel funny about leaving all the ties you’ve made?” she asked.

“The ties that matter stay intact,” I assure her. “It’s the adventure of the new that I am looking forward to. Change always leads to good things.”

Well, in my experience anyway.

With the house sold, and our new abode decided upon, I can finally focus on the task ahead of me. One step at a time, moving forward.

Oh, the fluidity
Of childhood days

Splashing and skipping along
The path meandering, directionless

When does life acquire edges
Doors and hallways hindering?

Led by asphalt and time clocks
Obligations too numerous to count.

My own body has become a cell
Movement stiffened, mind rigid

It’s those childhood memories
Soul ingrained, keep me fluid.

(Image my own)