Anticipation

Wildlife flirts
blossoms sing
air vibrates
sun and rain

Birds and bees
buzz in harmony
but a single note
thrills my senses

Canada Geese
squabble and waddle
while Mallard Mom
herds young into reeds

A splash signals
presence of beaver,
but my ear is fixated
eyes scanning green

For a glimpse
of brilliant orange
capped with black –
Baltimore Oriole

(Image my own)

Now That I Matter

The times I waited –
restless and raging
deliberately put on hold
dismissed, degraded, ignored.

Why did I put up with that?
Was I so afraid I’d lose it all?
So uncertain about a future?

How the children came to me
need in their eyes, little arms
begging to be embraced,
and I too blinded to reach out
fixated on the anger, powerless,
immersed myself in distractions
could not respond to their pleading
while my own inner child was doing the same

How I’d let other people’s agendas
override mine – their need to be rescued
or fixed, or to ride on my successes –
boundaries never a strong suit
my own desires so far buried
as to be practically nonexistent

How I’d avoid confrontation
never the top dog – hiding
rather than facing the bullies
in my sight – my loyalty,
my friendship a given
seldom valued by even me

How I took on the discards of others
let men dictate my life –
sorting through their carelessness
like spoon feeding adolescents
Perpetually in mother mode.

I am standing on a threshold
no doubt others will not like
Where I matter now
and love takes precedence
and my inner child shines,
and my priorities are front facing
and loyalty an earned gift
Where men are called to account
and women upheld and valued.

I am proud of who I am,
forgive all the ways I’ve put me down
and chose to radiate  
Love guiding this new light.

(Self portrait by me )

Not Everything Is Defined by Age

As a child, I knew no limits, setting out on adventures with never a fear for how I’d find my way back home.

Now, nestled in my home, I limit myself to certainties, fearful of risks.

Some days, I wonder about that child, and how it would feel to wander freely, and it makes me smile.

The body may be hindered, but the imagination remains forever young.

(Post originally appeared on One Woman’s Quest II, May 2022)

Back Seat Only

I can’t remember a time
when elegance chose me
to sit in the front seat
ride along in style

She’d be clad in white
and I’m ever too messy
can’t control myself
might tarnish the upholstery

She’d want to go shopping
rings and jewels flashing
like Pretty Woman
after the haul

I’m second-hand
typically slink in and out
grabbing what I need and going
lest anyone see me – a disgrace

No, elegance does not choose me
moose built, ratty hair
likely forgot to wash my face
Class passes me by

But I’ll tell you this –
what I lack for on the outside
this heart is solid and sturdy
and I will not pass you by.

(Image my own)