Circling,
dancing,
caught between
idealism of expectation
and harshness of reality –
one has lofty goals,
the other invites limitation
I’ve excuses aplenty –
none that assuage ambition
Incomplete work dangles
from spider web threads
waiting for rescue
Talking to myself
unavailing – best
step out of this dichotomy
stop the whirling
(Sketch my own)
Nose under throw rugs,
looking for what’s been swept aside;
or rustling about in back closets,
turning over the unused and out-of-date;
or straddling boards in the attic,
straining to ascertain new, if not precarious, angles –
the writer’s home of choice is seclusion.
(Image mine)
You may believe, Dear Reader,
that the words are mine to command
that I carefully contrive the message
form and structure succumbing
to my direction, syntax following suit
It has not been my intention to deceive
but, you see, I am mere slave to the whim
words hold the power, strangle my thoughts,
demand expression – they are haunting things,
rooted in urgency, and unwilling to bend
I would love to accept praise, pretend
a wisdom that is not mine, but words…
…well, they are born of some alien seed
growing within, nurtured I know not how,
and I am merely the vessel through which
their staccato voyage unravels
Stubborn as they are, silly things, really –
although I dare not say, for they can be vengeful
and vile, and I prefer the fluid passage
of expression than the painful, tearing,
slashing of words – monstrous as they can be
I am rendered servant by their insistence
(Image my own)
How is it I exist
in duplicate
simultaneously?
This divisive self
preoccupied
unforgiving
Facing forward
always looking back
lost in moments
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknuton. Image my own)
That time, playing in the muck,
foot emerging without a boot,
hopping and laughing
all the way home…
Then, later, on the bus
the impact of the car
the windshield cracking
like a giant spider
blood all over
the dead lady’s face
All in the past –
sunroof open
kids riding along,
music blaring
But trauma is a spider
Arachne reaching into happy places
and as much as I speed up
to avoid her,
fight to disable
her attack;
she weaves herself new limbs,
begins the onslaught anew
And I am stuck in the mud again
no longer limber enough
to dance my way home in the rain.
(The Car Crash first appeared here in March of 2020. Edited for this version. Image my own.)
I’ve been a grumpy lion
lashing out in pain –
punctured shell smarting
by an objectionable barb.
I am a prideful feline,
with a formidable roar –
an offensive defence
intended to intimidate.
Even so, you ventured near
and in a single act of good,
disarmed my furious outrage,
calmed this bellowing beast.
Like a mouse, you quietly –
with understated grace –
gestured with such kindness,
I withdrew all complaint.
You restored my faith in beauty,
revived a nostalgic sense of bliss,
offered possibilities: sweet and
unexpected; soothed my soul
An not, I have noted, without
self-sacrifice on your part –
I am not so egocentric
to have missed the cross you bear.
Your gentle demeanour prevailing
over my abhorrent rant,
is a worth a million thank you’s
to a wounded-heart cat, like me.
(Image my own. This poem first appeared here February, 2015)
Dare I look for self
in cloud formations, as if
true essence dwells there?
Naturally, I search outward
afraid to find nothing within.
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own)
Ghosts have no shadows
they are unsubstantiated
rumours of a life…
I exist, not because
of my shadows, and despite
the times I’ve been ghosted
Ghosts and shadows –
without them I am two-dimensional
with them, I am poetry.
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own)
Words, like crickets,
leap from my mind –
chirping pests
whose trajectory
eludes my dulled
reflexes, scuttling
around the periphery
of my awareness
Harmless, really,
in the singular,
a cacophony
in multitudes
threatening
to multiply further
and destroy any
semblance of sanity
I must intuit
their rhythm,
define the notes
in workable phrases,
capture the essence
of their meaning
and inscribe the message
before they disappear again.
(Pestilence of Words first appeared on One Woman’s Quest II, October 2016. Edited for this edition. Image my own.)
Young woman, I see your pain
remember a time when I too
struggled for autonomy, purpose
Wish I could reach across
the span of generations, mirror
the beauty that I see, release
the tangle of deception that binds,
facilitate your potential, help
advance your journey, lift you
beyond the clutter and noise
and deliver you to freedom, but
your book has not been written
and the chapters need to unfold
as they will, and I am no deity
who sees with clarity the path
you must choose, the destiny
that calls you – trust that life
is educational, and you bear
the resources to see your way
through; celebrate your hunger
and rejoice in your triumphs
I will watch with nostalgia
and the pride of recognition,
for your giftedness is real
your optimism a worthy tool,
and I know you will succeed –
have faith in your tomorrows
for you were born to shine
and the pages of your memoir
await experience’s depths.
(Young Woman, I See first appeared here in September, 2017. Image my own)
One Woman's Quest 