(My brother and I weren’t raised together, as his father abducted him at age 10. Reunited years later, I treasure the moments we get to spend together, even though they are few and far between. Image my own.)

adversity · culture · Family · mental-health · poetry · relationships · writing

The Pawn

February 4, 2020January 28, 2020 V.J. Knutson19 Comments

Of course she is away
caught in the schism
of her parents’ divorce
played like a pawn

She is emotionally numb
incapable of articulating
wants and desires – broken
though no one notices.

(Poem originally appeared on Twitter. Visit me @Vjknutson. Image from personal collection.)

creativity · mental-health · poetry · recovery · writing

Separated Self

December 7, 2019November 26, 2019 V.J. Knutson30 Comments

Reach for her
across the abyss
of indifference –

would hold her dear
comfort her sorrows –
empty promises,
I now understand

have abandoned her
countless times
in the name of obligation,
this child that is me.

Family · memoir · poetry · writing

Parental Poison

November 5, 2019November 1, 2019 V.J. Knutson20 Comments

A milk jug,
handle turned in,
was all it took
for father to lather,
a barrage of curses
decrying our lack of worth,
foaming from his mouth –
spittle that remains lodged
in our psyche – drug
resistant venom.

(Tuesdays poems come from Twitter. Follow me at @Vjknutson. Image from personal collection.)

abuse · poetry · writing

Inside, I Scream

October 21, 2019October 21, 2019 V.J. Knutson31 Comments

(Warning: trigger)

It wasn’t for want of terror –
inexplicable horror
caused me to quake

There was no one to hear –
a remote lair, boarded
ensured the perfect crime

Even in the aftermath –
self erased, movement
adrenalin automaton

Even then, no sound,
voice stifled by guilt
certainty blame was mine

Art of dissociation
keeps me now, surface
calm – shame numbed

The scream a silent
reverberation
tearing at my soul.

(For Ragtag Community’s daily prompt: scream.)