Tag: aging

Not Everything Is Defined by Age

As a child, I knew no limits, setting out on adventures with never a fear for how I’d find my way back home.

Now, nestled in my home, I limit myself to certainties, fearful of risks.

Some days, I wonder about that child, and how it would feel to wander freely, and it makes me smile.

The body may be hindered, but the imagination remains forever young.

(Post originally appeared on One Woman’s Quest II, May 2022)

Collared and Distant

I side with mundanity
caution-led momentum
still, anxiety interjects

Every day presents beauty
wonder, and where am I?
Slinking away from some black dog –
collared and distant

Life offers me a bridge
and I shrink, ducking into
sheltered viewpoints
praying the moment
passes me by

No wonder the black dog
catches me, straining its leash
to sniff this trembling old woman
its handler oblivious to the
fear mounting in the room

I will project the spots of the past
into silent scenarios, and
brace myself as if riding a tiger –
unprepared and hanging on for life

Avoidance is a fool’s game
for life is challenge
and if I’m honest
it’s not the dark that quickens
but rather that which resides within
 
I am the black dog –
collared and distant
I am my spotted past
and I am, in essence
the spirit of the tiger

And I am the very shelter
that I seek
open-doored
and ever-present
for every weary passerby

My walls may be worn
my countenance aging
but I am not without purpose

I shall seek out bridges
and contain these nerves
and cross into the unknown
instinct and intuition intact

Leave anxiety,
collared and distant
behind.

(Image my own)

In Situ

Upgrading –
setting new standards
learning anew

Kin/ heritage
pursues me –
influence
and legacy

Timid concerning
the unspoken
the understated

Seduction courts
a response –
I am flush with possibility
basking in attention

But God is calling me home –
reminds me of mortality
humbles me in situ

I am already engaged
passion in the moment
dalliances redundant

(Self portrait created blind with acrylic paint and palette knife)

Relevance

She’s papering the walls
pondering former rooms
unmarked by her presence

Patterns alternate,
she thinks
then prays
will harmonize

She doesn’t need much –
a forever mantra  —

a bed, a chair for reading…

Contentment, she tells herself,
 the sufficiency of simplicity –

A side table, a lamp
a few drawers
 
A well-practiced diminishment
When did invisibility become her norm?

Sewing herself into the fabric of life
Always adapting to the flow

A stab of anger, or is it sorrow
These four walls her final stop

If she is to make a statement
raise her voice against conformity
the time is now

A slash of red, she decides
will rattle the monotony
render her relevant

At least this once.

(Sketch my own)

Silently, I Follow

Silently, I follow
novice heart absent

Who can maneuver
the breathless streams

attempt a spiritual viewpoint
while continuously overwhelmed?

Urgently in need of a breakthrough
I am done, outdated

Summer’s passage conceded
this soul requires triage

An experience of caring
that does not resemble a demand for more.

(Image my own)

Age and Obstacles

Sloth-like she shuffles
each stride an argument
against unwilling muscles,
ignores spasms, lips pursed
in concentration, advances

Cockeyed he totters,
step…hop…step, poker-hot
stabs punctuating his effort
moves swiftly as if to out run
pain, face set in determination

They are out of sync, oddball
awkward sightseers, obstacles
for the fast-moving able-bodies
that whir past unable to fathom
motivation in crooked spines.

The race here is against time,
propelled by insatiable thirst,
they forage for snippets worthy
of hoarding, squirrels readying
for winter’s harsh call, days

when minds still alert will hunger
despite bodies inert, they will
dine on memory, boast about
the daring, reminisce fondly
over adventures hard won.

(A portrait of aging, first published in 2017. Image my own)