The view outside my window this morning is pure gold. It’s our Canadian Thanksgiving and my mood matches the tone.
The warmth of family coming together, the gift of thoughtful gestures from friends, the wonder of Nature letting go in a blaze of colour: all golden.
Hope you are able to find the gold in your day.
It started Thursday evening when we picked up our 10-year-old granddaughter for a dinner out. The conversation was lively and I learned so much about the world from her perspective.
Then Saturday, our oldest daughter announced she was playing her first ever hockey game, so we drove to the city to watch. I didn’t even know she could skate, and turns out neither did she. She faced her fear and did it anyway. So proud of her.
Yesterday, two of the kids dropped by to pick up some furniture, with the 4-year-old in tow, announcing she had come to play. We chatted over a snack, coloured princesses, read about princesses, had another snack, and shared lots of cuddles.
One of my goals in moving back to the city is to be closer to family. It’s already happening, and this Granny’s heart is bursting.
Talks of takeovers
and takedowns –
deliberate misdirection
My mind is a tangle
my heart stripped raw
Us vs them a mantra
Choking on my own bile
darkness closing in –
I turn to so called heaven
Accusations on iced tongue
desperation pointing fingers
the sullen clouds an echo
Even in this stormy state
light, like fire challenges
Wake up! Wake up!
There in the twilight
beneath lambent skies
my resolve melts
How, from this perspective
can I contemplate hatred?
Love a more noble alternative
Celebrated 68 years (on this earth) this past weekend with visits from friends and family. Pictured is my husband with our youngest granddaughter. Young and old enjoyed delicious food, laughter, and those precious one-on-one interactions.
We purchase boards
imagine roots –
dream bigger
ignore the dawning
The higher the fence,
we tell ourselves,
the better the privacy.
Work hard, earn big.
And the longing grows
it’s the heart that seeks roots
hungers for connection
love like sunshine
Would knock down walls
throw open the doors
bask in the expansiveness
of kindred moments shared.
(Image mine)
The times I waited –
restless and raging
deliberately put on hold
dismissed, degraded, ignored.
Why did I put up with that?
Was I so afraid I’d lose it all?
So uncertain about a future?
How the children came to me
need in their eyes, little arms
begging to be embraced,
and I too blinded to reach out
fixated on the anger, powerless,
immersed myself in distractions
could not respond to their pleading
while my own inner child was doing the same
How I’d let other people’s agendas
override mine – their need to be rescued
or fixed, or to ride on my successes –
boundaries never a strong suit
my own desires so far buried
as to be practically nonexistent
How I’d avoid confrontation
never the top dog – hiding
rather than facing the bullies
in my sight – my loyalty,
my friendship a given
seldom valued by even me
How I took on the discards of others
let men dictate my life –
sorting through their carelessness
like spoon feeding adolescents
Perpetually in mother mode.
I am standing on a threshold
no doubt others will not like
Where I matter now
and love takes precedence
and my inner child shines,
and my priorities are front facing
and loyalty an earned gift
Where men are called to account
and women upheld and valued.
I am proud of who I am,
forgive all the ways I’ve put me down
and chose to radiate Â
Love guiding this new light.
(Self portrait by me )
Love’s waters rise
defy the impossibility
of our sedentary walls
tides and emotions
like sculptors
reshaping the contours
of opposition, softening
the places where hearts meet.
(Image my own)
We are not islands
isolated
insulated
to be ignored
We are hearts engaged
in a relational dance:
intertwining stories
weaving new tales
Yearning for love’s reciprocity
Delighting in wonder of discovery
Slugging through painful demise
Striving to be better
We build walls
construct towers
follow paths leading nowhere –
the pitfalls of our quest
Artificial barriers
lofty ideals
dead ends…
and still we push on
Dreaming of hands that hold
and gentle waters
soothing and war
passionate kisses
Love’s rewards
We exist
not for accumulation
but for the gifts that arise
when open hearts dance.
(Image my own)
