Category: Love

Monday’s Mood: Golden

The view outside my window this morning is pure gold. It’s our Canadian Thanksgiving and my mood matches the tone.

The warmth of family coming together, the gift of thoughtful gestures from friends, the wonder of Nature letting go in a blaze of colour: all golden.

Hope you are able to find the gold in your day.

Monday Mood: bursting

It started Thursday evening when we picked up our 10-year-old granddaughter for a dinner out. The conversation was lively and I learned so much about the world from her perspective.

Then Saturday, our oldest daughter announced she was playing her first ever hockey game, so we drove to the city to watch. I didn’t even know she could skate, and turns out neither did she. She faced her fear and did it anyway. So proud of her.

Yesterday, two of the kids dropped by to pick up some furniture, with the 4-year-old in tow, announcing she had come to play. We chatted over a snack, coloured princesses, read about princesses, had another snack, and shared lots of cuddles.

One of my goals in moving back to the city is to be closer to family. It’s already happening, and this Granny’s heart is bursting.

Choose Love

Talks of takeovers
and takedowns –
deliberate misdirection

My mind is a tangle
my heart stripped raw
Us vs them a mantra

Choking on my own bile
darkness closing in –
I turn to so called heaven

Accusations on iced tongue
desperation pointing fingers
the sullen clouds an echo

Even in this stormy state
light, like fire challenges
Wake up! Wake up!

There in the twilight
beneath lambent skies
my resolve melts

How, from this perspective
can I contemplate hatred?
Love a more noble alternative

What We Really Need

We purchase boards
imagine roots –
dream bigger
ignore the dawning

The higher the fence,
we tell ourselves,
the better the privacy.
Work hard, earn big.

And the longing grows
it’s the heart that seeks roots
hungers for connection
love like sunshine

Would knock down walls
throw open the doors
bask in the expansiveness
of kindred moments shared.

(Image mine)

Now That I Matter

The times I waited –
restless and raging
deliberately put on hold
dismissed, degraded, ignored.

Why did I put up with that?
Was I so afraid I’d lose it all?
So uncertain about a future?

How the children came to me
need in their eyes, little arms
begging to be embraced,
and I too blinded to reach out
fixated on the anger, powerless,
immersed myself in distractions
could not respond to their pleading
while my own inner child was doing the same

How I’d let other people’s agendas
override mine – their need to be rescued
or fixed, or to ride on my successes –
boundaries never a strong suit
my own desires so far buried
as to be practically nonexistent

How I’d avoid confrontation
never the top dog – hiding
rather than facing the bullies
in my sight – my loyalty,
my friendship a given
seldom valued by even me

How I took on the discards of others
let men dictate my life –
sorting through their carelessness
like spoon feeding adolescents
Perpetually in mother mode.

I am standing on a threshold
no doubt others will not like
Where I matter now
and love takes precedence
and my inner child shines,
and my priorities are front facing
and loyalty an earned gift
Where men are called to account
and women upheld and valued.

I am proud of who I am,
forgive all the ways I’ve put me down
and chose to radiate  
Love guiding this new light.

(Self portrait by me )