Good Afternoon

Dawn breathes an invitation and Rumi’s words taunt me: Do not go back to sleep. I am loathe to greet the day – not that I despise its arrival, rather that waking has become laborious since the onset of chronic illness. Daughter of a military man, I am conditioned to rise before the sun, have […]

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The Other Side

Wind carries Autumn’s songand I am crawling out of a nightmare Insides churning widdershinsthoughts grasping for a forward pull Have been to the edge,touched the volatile Birdsong breaks solemnityI catch a ray of light. (Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @VjknutsonLast September, I was in hospital fightingthrough a life threatening condition. I penned this there. Image […]

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Another Chapter Closes

House creaksferociousdecries starknessof bare wallsabsence of furniturefinality of boxesstacked and sealed Sleep eludes memind recallingpassages –his cancermy feartwist of fatethat left me housebound We could not stay herethis place chosen for healingturned prison “You’ve been good to us”I whisper, “Nowyou’ll favour someone else” She grumbles in responsethis old house, sharingmy trepidationof unknowns, changealways precarious Another […]

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Even Ghosts Yearn

Natural light preferable to artificial – not the harshfullness of noonday sunbut softly filtered rays –luxurious…inviting Love too, should be subdued,gentle as a zephyr –not mythical, but yielding…mindfulnot worshipful nor boastfulbut comforting…warm I am waning lightthe mistral wind waftingno longer a force of naturebut smoke, spirallingvanishing into non-existence And yet, even as shadows spreadI yearn […]

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Pain

Pain. I push against itchallenge it A warrior intent on provingI am… indestructibleunwillingto flinch Convincedthat denialequals power Except, it gnawsat my edgestears me downbit by bit Just as I prepareto succumb…clarity …this is invitation …surrender is a gift …pain is passage I let goabsolve myselfof the need…. (Pain first appeared on One Woman’s Quest II […]

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Need A Verb

Movement abandonsI grasp for something…concrete……air to breathe… am fast becoming…sedimentary…an object Need a verb –transitive –to drive me – The wind lifted herThe sun inspired herThe day healed her… (Image my own)

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Dancing

Wary of ruts –lies I tell myselfsprouting roots,impending progress. Yet, without rootshow am I defined?Does impermanencenot also leave a stain? The ground shiftsbeneath meand I danceimperfectly inventing a rhythmthat defies ruts,mocks impermanenceand eludes definition. (Dancing first appeared here in May, 2018. Image my own.)

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Mermaid Dreams

Descending into the mythicalentrancedspurred byseverity ofcurrent challenge Call it fantasybut attemptingmovement isdestroying my passage I am pulling, shattering this barricadeof a life; blueprogressing:ocean bound. (Mermaid Dreams was originally written in December of 2016, two years bedridden. Only in the dreamtime was I whole and capable of overcoming. Dreams are one thing I can talk about […]

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Unrestricted

Chronic this painfinite the energyfuels each day Ability to wonder,marvel at nature –without limits Thoughts, like leavesbreak away, swirlfloat on the wind – I am at onewith possibilityfree to create (Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own)

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Routine

Depression monitors my movementseyes me from across the road, waits I struggle to define myself, hereat the margins of life, career lost As teacher, days were outlinedbells, rubrics, and semesters Now I must learn again, findpurpose in nothingness Despair wants to move in, overwhelmBut I’m building my fences, regaining routines – markers motivatingeach day – […]

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