In 2021, I Woke Up

This year the plague came
and I blamed the wind
for carrying destruction
and I blamed the sun
for its ineptitude
and the rain,
no friend of mine,
only served to drown
my expectations.

Lockdown
and social distance
masks and antiseptics
how was a soul
to survive?

Pushing 2020
out the door
certain relief
would follow
but change is not
a date on the calendar
a release of circumstance

I turned inward
faced the gloom
and found a spark
forgave the weather
the virus, the news

In 2021, I woke up…

(For Reena’s Exploration challenge: I woke up in 2021… Image my ow

Teach Me

Teach me reverence
am losing ground
children adulting
mothering in a void

Teach me acceptance
disability’s waters flood
I’m in the margins
an afterthought

I concede life changes
release control – passion
begs an outlet; I am worn
but I am open. Teach me.

(Image mine)

This Is How It Happens

Cherubic and reeking
grief’s pallor heavy
he comes to me

Of course, he does
I am schooled in compassion
seldom flinch at raw pain

I attend to the wounds
listen; reassure
but I am weary

My own sorrow unattended
loss and betrayal an inner bleed
know I have only so much to give

But he is not alone,
there is another
a mere child…

Cherubic and reeking
grief’s pallor heavy
he comes to me

Of course he does
and I will sign on to stay…
schooled in the art of compassion.

(The stories that come to us in the dreamtime, often celebrate anniversaries. Years ago, I was in a cycle of abusive relationships, culminating with the one represented in the poem. We met on New Year’s Eve. My son, then early teens, remarked to me that I always chose relationships that asked a lot of me but seldom gave in return. While I laughed it off in the moment, his words remained with me, especially as this man also betrayed me with another. It was the turning point I needed to do some real soul-searching.)

Image my own.

Time To Cruise Is Not Now

Is there an itinerary for this lockdown?
I watch as engagements line up

Adventure-seekers, eager to connect
willingly engage, purchase a ticket

How I would give my life to be a part
hop aboard a sailing ship, escape

Except disability has recalled my passport;
I am a vehicle without fuel, grounded

Disappointment and I watch as
familiar faces venture out –

a friend’s brother
an old crush
a high school acquaintance

While envy reminds me
I’m always an outsider
Sensibility wakes me up

This boat I’m missing out on
is no luxury cruise ship, but
a dalliance with death –

I surrender to isolation
count the casualties.

( Image my own.)