current affairs – One Woman's Quest

Blossoming

It may be foolish of me, at my age and in my current condition, but I hang on to the hope that the pain of this effort is leading somewhere: renewal, new purpose, or at the very least, a blossoming.

Monday Mood: Stretched too far

Saturday we packed up the garage (with help). Dusty, dirty, and exhausting.

Sunday we attended and then hosted a farewell party for our Ukrainian roommate, who is going back to Ukraine despite all our protests. Yes, two separate gatherings. Heart wrenching.

This morning, we visited our new apartment building to get set up with a storage room and took a load of stuff to charity. I’m asleep on my feet.

I feel just like the tree in this photo. Stretched beyond.

Tomorrow, some of the furniture moves out. Hope I manage to stay upright.

Ducks In a Row

I’m trying to be practical and methodical about the upcoming move, but emotions cloud the process. I fluctuate between excitement and trepidation. Moving, after all, does require letting go.

We’ve been going through the boxes in storage – things we’ve moved from house to house, and seldom looked at. Ric found his mother’s silver serving utensils and has been paralyzed for a day contemplating what to do about them. I suggest he should save them for his next wife, in case she likes polishing.

Thank goodness for timelines and lists. It forces us to stay on track. Must keep those ducks in a row.

Be As the Bloom

Are we awake
barely breathing?

Mounting raucous
shattering sensibility

Hatred building
rights withering

Who will survive?

I, chirps
the solo bloom

Timid-voiced
overlooked

radiant in her fragility
confident

Breathe

(Art my own)

Monday Mood: relief

After a few days of negotiations, we have sold the house! Such a relief.

Now to find our next home, but that’s for another day. Just grateful we are doing all this while the garden is still in bloom.

Choose Love

Talks of takeovers
and takedowns –
deliberate misdirection

My mind is a tangle
my heart stripped raw
Us vs them a mantra

Choking on my own bile
darkness closing in –
I turn to so called heaven

Accusations on iced tongue
desperation pointing fingers
the sullen clouds an echo

Even in this stormy state
light, like fire challenges
Wake up! Wake up!

There in the twilight
beneath lambent skies
my resolve melts

How, from this perspective
can I contemplate hatred?
Love a more noble alternative

Impatience

Petulance is actually the word that comes to mind at the moment. I feel as if my inner child, not getting what she wants fast enough, is throwing a temper tantrum.

I just need to convince her to give the grass time to grow.

Thanks Richard Adams.