Is there an itinerary for this lockdown?
I watch as engagements line up
Adventure-seekers, eager to connect
willingly engage, purchase a ticket
How I would give my life to be a part
hop aboard a sailing ship, escape
Except disability has recalled my passport;
I am a vehicle without fuel, grounded
Disappointment and I watch as
familiar faces venture out –
a friend’s brother
an old crush
a high school acquaintance
While envy reminds me
I’m always an outsider
Sensibility wakes me up
This boat I’m missing out on
is no luxury cruise ship, but
a dalliance with death –
I surrender to isolation
count the casualties.
( Image my own.)
I dream of
Wrapped in separateness
cardboard walls fallen
curling corners of instability –
no refuge in stillness.
canyons of aloneness
faces on screens
Grace finds me
mercy lifts soul
opens the door
(This is a rewrite of an older poem, last appearing here in August, 2018. I submit it for Reena’s Exploration challenge #163. Please visit her post for a most inspiring video. Art my own.)
Feels so clinical
camaraderie a pull
I hide behind glass
Laughter of mask-less
trickles through panes
I pray for strength
clarity of purpose
refrain from joining in.
(For Eugi’s Weekly prompt: neighbour)
Strains of “Desperado”
float through my mind
as images of the plague
assault me- this new life
too much, future unforeseeable
caught in a dystopian novel.
(Tuesdays I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own.)
Cynical of authority –
a dubious task force –
expending the vulnerable
This class of clowns
is COVID revealed.
Perusing the hardware store
(shops are limited these days)
nothing to tantalize the imagination
still, I browse, searching for normalcy.
Death loiters in aisle 9
taunts me with visions of life
once vibrant, now stolen
leers at me and I bolt
Grocery store holds more allure
ingredients to stir the appetite
the phantom stalks here too
leaves fingerprints on tin cans
The coffee shop has drinks to go
but the spectre follows, leers
schoolboy smug – I’m not sure
whether to laugh or cry
Unamused by the implications
and yet somehow reassured –
the humour doesn’t escape me –
warped this new norm.
The clouds donned a veil today
robins foraged on thirsty ground
while a trio of doves swept by
Of course, that’s poetic nonsense –
an attempt at finding beauty
in what is really a grey reality.
Nations hunker in against the threat
and Easter morning arrived
without the fanfare of egg hunts
or children’s raised voices –
certainly not the bonnets, gloves
and scratchy dresses of youth.
But that’s how life is, isn’t it?
Compass set on determination
and before we know it, currents
shift, and we are headed into
the unknown once again.
I donned a grey veil today,
thoughts clouded by chirp-less gloom
could not lift my head to find the sky
This is the nature of hopelessness
to find one’s self confined without
power to alter the course –
This is the struggle before resignation
at worst; acceptance, at best, and
either in time for the next tidal change.
(Too dark, my husband says, can you change the ending? Make it more hopeful.
It’s implicit in the ending, I counter. Maybe not. It is how I am feeling after so many days of trying to stay positive. But here’s what I know: I have been in this place before – emotionally immobilized and overwhelmed – and I’ve always found my way out. Writing helps. Meditation, walks in nature, and a good laugh do too. I share this here today, so that you know you’re not alone in what you are feeling. I share it as one who knows that to reflect upon and acknowledge personal turmoil is better than to suppress it. I share this with the commitment to ride this current wave, openly and honestly, so that when it’s all over we have a true of record of this time in history, from a personal perspective, anyway. Thanks for reading.)