Love · poetry · recovery · relationships · writing

Un-captivated

Bridging was his MO
caught me post divorce
when needs were slippery

Sapped my spirit
drained my love, then
latched onto new youth –

Most liberating gift
he ever gave me.

(Image from personal collection)

abuse · poetry · relationships · writing

Adultery

Mistake
Beg forgiveness
Repeat

Appearances sanitize past
Push dirt under the rug
Smother recall

Reason can be fraud
common sense out of order

Suspicions merit
an ear, listen
over din of betrayal.

(For Reena’s Exploration Challenge #135:  quotation.  “Always listen twice.  First what’s being said, then who said it.”  Image my own.)

blogging · creativity · poetry · relationships · writing

Midsummer Night’s Trap

I am no Titania,
whose mind poisoned
by Puck’s subterfuge,
finds your asinine
nature alluring.

You once slaughtered
all rational instincts,
beheaded my sensibility,
paraded my gored heart
like a trophy oozing blood

Thought to seduce me
anew, so confidant in
your primal charms,
my carnal libido, but no
flowery fog deludes me

you are not a guileless
Bottom, but an incubus
maliciously motivated,
a destroyer of souls,
conquest a side sport…

So willingly we entered
that midnight garden
of lust – me, innocent
as Helena, you a serpent
in the plot, more twisted

than Puck’s foiled plan;
I fear I have not removed
myself far enough from
that enchanted dystopia,
am grasping to reach

something stable, sane…
a solid security that defies
magical notions, grounds
me in respectability, a return
to a banality that precludes you.

(Midsummer Night’s Trap originally appeared here March, 2017.  I am reposting for Laura’s Manic Monday 3-way prompt: poison.)

creativity · poetry · relationships · writing

Oasis: Cataracts and Candour

To be candid
the jolt of your affection
rattled my sensibilities

had not realized
the depth of this despair,
miscalculated my longing

the rush of your affection –
like an oasis – refreshing
renewal for my barren

heart, gushing like a school girl,
melting, emotions cascading,
eyes glazed and unfocused

refusing to acknowledge
the impossibility of sustaining
something borne of deceit

and now we pay –
you claiming insurmountable hurt –
while the real pain of our tryst

as reflected on my beloved’s face,
has removed the cataracts from my selfish eyes –
what we did is insupportable – oasis or not.

(Written for three daily prompts:
Daily Addiction: oasis
Ragtag Daily prompt: cataract
Fandango’s Word of the Day:  candour

adversity · mental-health · poetry

Living With The Enemy

Thought I’d divorced myself from
indifference, recovered from abject
betrayal, but; here I am, co-habiting
with deceit again, occupying uneven
ground, reduced to questioning
motives and reactions.

I’ve been down this road before,
dragged through the shame of
behind my back whispers – need
to confront the perpetrator,
and any co-conspirators, stop
the home-wrecker before she
strikes again, convince them all

that this is not self-perpetuated,
but a sham, and a crime, and
that my heart is breaking here,
and damn it; I deserve better, but
as I said, I am living with the enemy
residing in this single story, one-body
hell, and I’m not sure if I can take any
more self-destructive examinations –
pretty sure one of us is about to
implode, and then what?

Love · poetry · relationships

Demon Prowler

It stalks – colourless,
soulless, skin of leather,
ears tufted – a demon
predator crouching
in the private places
awaiting bloody attack

A wife reigns in instinct
ignores niggling senses
guards her loyalty –
vaguely speaks to spouse
of fears, accepts a shrug
as compliance, relaxes

Routine a barrier to what
lies within, darkness waiting,
watching – convinces herself
serenity is a state of mind,
while her husband seeks
a more youthful companion

Has plotted his escape –
accomplices secured –
intends to bulldoze
the marriage – feeds
the beast with covert
manipulations, lies

Inexperience lures the
maiden, sandwiched
between his lust and
her hope, willing to risk
precariousness, encroach
on marital privacy, bait

for what lurks there,
impatient for the kill;
but who will fall victim,
whose heart be torn
in irreconcilable pieces
when betrayal strikes.

(Image: mixtapetherapy.wordpress.com)

 

 

 

life · poetry · relationships

Relationship Saboteur

Open to sisterhood,
letting my guard down,
pledging reliability

Just can’t find suitably
sparkly holder to house
my pragmatism, hate

being second-rate
when it comes to
abundance; I am

solid, ebony, earthen
know that I have value
but cannot locate it –

maybe a little contraband
would loosen my subconscious
permit release, have been

the subject of anti-social
musings, imposed by a
mother, overwhelmed

who cared to be with a
narcissist; have speculated,
imbibed, cried righteous

intolerance – all a hunt
for independence, an exit,
reversal of tracks, gears

turning; I am charcoal
shining, aged, more than
this singular identity

useful to excess, yet
unfamiliar with protocols
suspicious of kindness

would sell everything
I have, give up the search
reveal a playful ( lapsed )

side, revisit old strengths
to discover a new order
but the former glitter

like surplussed sequins
puckering plenitude –
without light, I am worn

questioning widowhood
once married to intention
now misplaced, purpose

stashed under so much
debris, would need willing
interloper to rifle through

help me find my dreams:
shared responsibility implied
only betrayers welcome.

(Image: www.personalityprogram.com)