Louse

Self-deprecationthat louse that foilsrecognition What if I sacrificedthis invasive habit –allowed vulnerability Entertained possibilityof self-acceptance,treasured what is? (Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own.)

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Shallow Measures

Didn’t have to say it – read between the lines, the “and you too” as an afterthought pathetic attempt to cover truth – ugly I was, unlike sisters whose beauty raved Only in flashbacks, time gifting objectivity do I see it wasn’t true – depth shines through. (Image from personal collection.)

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Blessings

Mother’s feet scream – agony of her miserable condition, underlying disease eating her. My feet, free of calluses, paddles slightly bent and fallen, carry on with forgiving kindness. Husband’s knees are red-hot pokers shooting knife-sharp volts with every rickety step. Mine are knots in spindly trunks that bear movement graciously, allot me flexibility. Father’s back […]

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Nature’s Heart

If Nature had a human heart how fickle she would be – one day fiery, another ice, so much based on jealousy. If humans had Nature’s heart, then instinct would be key – to each their own understood a master plan for harmony.

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Fences

Look at us building fences pretending we have differences do we not hunger the same hunt in the same places do we not strive with equal intent build our nests with the same ferocity forgo passion to survive let us stop pretending let down these walls admit to our vulnerabilities align our purposes fight a […]

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Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda

I’d go back to school, continue post graduate work, rally the troops to get me there, scrounge the fees, find someone to carry the books (I no longer have the strength) – undoubtedly miss a few sessions, get behind, feel frustration building, consult with the energetic youthful instructor, become brain locked when I cannot interpret […]

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A Mountain of Grief

I exist in the spaces – crushed and flattened – between the rocks that form this mountain of grief. Each sorrowful fragment petrified,  polished – a collection of coldness hardened and maintained. I’ve never known how to grieve. How do I shed the weightiness – crawl out from the crevices – breathe new life into […]

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Accepting Self

Desiring reconnection with life, a longing for purposeful normalcy, I push forward, intentionally ignoring advice to the contrary. Original intention well-meaning (but not thought through) minimal exertion is what’s called for, but I feel inspired to do more. Former strength now lost, new awareness on the periphery, hindered only by this cloudy head- executive functioning […]

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Accepting Success

My husband always tells me that I am failing my way through life with an A+. It started when I returned to university to upgrade my degree.  I would sweat over every assignment, proclaiming uncertainty about the expectations and certainty that my efforts would fall short.  I would get the paper back with a mark […]

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Acceptance

“I know what I want to give my Father.”  Dee looked at me through her veil of blonde hair.  Her face always bore such sweetness, yet the young girl I knew was so intense. “Tell me.” Dee was dying.  This was her third dance with cancer, and the doctor’s said it would be her last.  […]

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