Dear Charlotte Perkins Gilman

I have examined your wallpaper, discussed the scholarly attributes of shades of yellow, traced the edges of your unravelling with my mind, argued the merits of Gothic horror; marvelled at the brilliance of wording, the courage to define the nature of feminine madness, the boldness to highlight inequalities long before the establishment of a Person’s […]

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Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda

I’d go back to school, continue post graduate work, rally the troops to get me there, scrounge the fees, find someone to carry the books (I no longer have the strength) – undoubtedly miss a few sessions, get behind, feel frustration building, consult with the energetic youthful instructor, become brain locked when I cannot interpret […]

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Meaningful Toil

Evolution, not devolution, will save my soul. Archaeology – the willing diligence to forage the seemingly barren debris, multi-layers of fallout, aftermaths, abandonments; unearthing fragments, purifying, reconstructing meaning, history, value – will redeem it.

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False Prophet

I used to ride the New Age train finding answers in the stars unlocking the Mysteries of the Universe a warrior for peace. I was a see-er, an analyser purporting to spew wisdom a vehicle for a higher power a spiritual guide. It was like riding the bull in a rodeo show – fast and […]

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A Child’s Grief

I didn’t cry when you died in that fire, you and your sisters and brother. I didn’t cry when we saw the images on the news – the charred remains of your house, four stretchers with black tarps being carried from the scene. I didn’t cry when we all crowded around the coffin – one […]

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The Queen is Missing

She’s not in the kitchen – presiding over the preparations, thriving amidst the chatter, tutting away thieving hands. She’s not in the classroom – mastering subjects, upholding order, ruling with a charitable hand. Nor is she at social affairs – smiling regally, head bent in rapt attention, compassion oozing forth. The Queen is missing – […]

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Oh, To Dream

I dream of waking before the dawn, preparing for my day with proficiency, professionally preened and on the go. In reality, I see the early light of day through an insomnia-induced haze, or miss it altogether, unable to rise. I will carelessly tie my hair back, and moan at my image, forgoing cosmetics – no […]

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My Spirit Stands Strong

Progress – seldom linear – tosses me into unexpected decline – stranded and incapacitated. My son – with labour-hardened strength leaps to my side, steadying me and I feel the fear in his caring grip. My daughter, ever compassionate, reaches out for me with horror-filled eyes as my body crumples onto the bed. My husband, […]

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A Mountain of Grief

I exist in the spaces – crushed and flattened – between the rocks that form this mountain of grief. Each sorrowful fragment petrified,  polished – a collection of coldness hardened and maintained. I’ve never known how to grieve. How do I shed the weightiness – crawl out from the crevices – breathe new life into […]

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A Room of My Own

” I have a recurring image in my dreams of a house with two floors that I have either forgotten about or abandoned. Both have separate staircases, and while others are aware of the one set of stairs, the other is only known by me,” I tell my therapist. “I get the irony of having […]

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