Passion for writing ignites my soul's momentum
Dare I confess
the hollowness
of my heart
How emptiness
echoes in its chambers
How lost I feel inside
This is no sanctity
no secure refuge
my withdrawal is a sham
I stand by, observe –
circles entwine, embrace –
recognize the power of love
Practice the words
extend warmth
and retreat, before
connection ignites
convinced as I am
that the vacancy is merited.
(Image from personal collection.)
But for the beating of heart –
a discordant rhythm –
I am obliterated by fog –
numbness of unanticipated loss
clouded by dreams misted over –
I await sun’s return….
We’ll buy a boat,
he promised,
spend our days adrift
on a sea of possibilities.
So, she waited,
tethered her hopes
with ropes of whimsy
to a future with sails.
But years passed and
time revealed that words
hold no water, and lies
are no vessel for love.
Now, she contemplates
oceans, photographs
sailboats, docked –
possibilities set aside.
Mother is fearful,
time slipping through her fingers,
loneliness enveloping her.
I hold space for her in my thoughts,
my heart aching in beat with hers.
Guilt tosses me up and down –
inadequacy knows no bests.
In darkened room
I lie, willing blackness
to obliterate blackness.
A scream, unearthed
from dankness
shatters the silence,
echoes off heartless walls,
shock waves reverberate
relentless torment
seventeen years…
committed, no…
dedicated
ripped away
leaving me
nothing
I fall, spiral
reel out of control
breaking down
tomorrow,
the children will return
the house will fill again,
and I will pick up
these shards,
piece together
some semblance
of normalcy,
and begin
to rebuild
in the dark.
(Written for dVerse pub, where Lillian is hosting with a challenge to focus on time: “To everything there is a season…”)
Like a wanted woman,
I hide in public places
One step ahead of recognition,
ignoring friendly gestures,
leaving confusion in my wake
I’m tired of this game,
the pretence – long only
to turn myself in
tear away the mask
and announce
my presence
but I’m afraid –
could lose it all –
career, reputation
all for a crime I did not commit.
Oh wait…I already did –
just like a wanted woman…
(Image from personal collection. My images, some with poetry are now available through Society6. I’d love it if you’d check us out and leave feedback.)
I search for sustenance
with indifference –
have difficulty navigating
the aisles of available options.
Divorced from former dreams,
I hunger for renewed inspiration,
encounter only loss and confusion.
Goddess advises, and I,
ear-closed irritated,
hear only assertions
of inadequacy.
I exit possibility,
have lost the vessel
that once propelled me.
(Linking up to Reena’s Exploration Challenge #70)
