Do Not Tell

No one told me,
in my haste to grow up,
that adulthood, awash
with responsibility,
would also be lonely

And, no one told me
that the days and nights
of sweating over lessons
would likely not lead
to the life imagined

nor that commitment –
the kind portrayed in movies –
does not exist – the word itself
bearing more substance
than the act, fickle as it is

No one told me that
motherhood would change
my reality permanently,
colouring it with unfathomable
pain and joy – such juxtaposition

And, no one told me that
every battle I ever arm myself for,
regardless of its justification,
is really a struggle with self –
inner demons the most menacing.

I never imagined that age,
with seismic force,
would alter my perspective so –
leave me barren and yet enriched,
enthralled with the ordinary
and unfazed by the rest

And, in the end, as I watch
the vernal rains announce renewal,
in the quiet of my solitude, I am
amazed and grateful for all
that this crazy, driven life has become
and that no one ever told me.

(This is an edited version of a poem published in April, 2019. Art my own.)

Published by

VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

70 thoughts on “Do Not Tell”

  1. If the mystery was taken out of life… the strength of being bored would grow… and suicide would become even more commonplaced for those resting on the lip of hopelessness…!
    πŸ‡―πŸ‡²πŸ–οΈ

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    1. Quite the contrary, I might have been afraid to go on, lol. That’s why I’m glad they didn’t tell me.

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  2. No one ever told me that I am basically powerless to control what surrounds me. I observe a certain logic of word repetition and if.. then… quality.

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  3. This is a beautiful poem with a lilting rhythm about all the things we can only learn about through experience. It is wonderful that you can see the full array of challenges and blessings.

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  4. I feel my parents did the best “they knew how” in raising me. Because of the ups and downs in my childhood, I was determined to learn things on my own.
    There’s a lot more to “no one ever told me” than meets the eye, IMO.

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  5. Good to read in the midst of shifting to a new computer with unfathomable security quirks nonexistent 7 years back when I last tackled computer transition. I’ve been grumpy the past 3 days since being told some of what I need to do by someone likely far younger, far more flexible in thoughts of “how things should work” … ha!
    I agree – better to live into the changes. Had I known in advance about the new Microsoft security tangles (and soooo many personal awareness tangles such as motherhood) I might well have become a timid hermit hiding out in isolation!
    Love the eclectic artwork!

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  6. I’d be willing to bet that, long ago, someone told me all that stuff & I was just too (young? naive? unwilling/unable? ) to heat it. Nice to hear you read, Sister. Thanks.

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