These bones, they say
will finish me – too brittle
to withstand the race
But I am Willow
recollection wispy
my dance defiant
Porous as a sea sponge
soaking up each day
mettle despite the rattle
(Tuesdays I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own.)
Rear-ended
by proverbial truck
Unexpectedly, I claim
denying accountability
Sure, I took chances
crossed the line
Rebelliously ignored
limits, road signs
Driven by compassion
open-doored willingness
Saw the danger too late
swerving only mitigated damage
Humiliated by the impact
reckless ego smarting.
(image my own)
Progress, seldom linear,
tosses me into unexpected decline,
stranded and incapacitated.
My son with labour-hardened arms
leaps to my side, steadying me
and I feel the fear in his caring grip
My daughter, ever compassionate,
reaches out, eyes filled with horror
as my body crumples onto the bed.
My husband, my oak, seeks to comfort
his voice betraying the helplessness
this futile predicament imposes.
Beloveds, I know that you see me
this dis-abled, non-functioning shell
weakened and sickly, lying on this bed
Do not be deceived-
it is only an illusion –
vessel temporarily fettered
I am in essence, as before
ambitions and desires intact
hold this version of me
Sense the wholeness of my being
the woman I am yet to be –
my spirit stands strong.
(My Spirit Stands Strong first appeared here August, 2015; edited for this version.
Image my own)
There is safety in apart-ment living;
would corral the little ones, declare
responsibility, obligations as a mask
for this self-banishing compulsion…
except that I am lying prone, exposed –
brains spilling onto concrete – shadows
revealing the darkness of my condition,
hopelessly locked in physical inertia.
I am an unwitting contributor to
scientific (and pseudo) probing:
audacious autopsies pronouncing
conclusive evidence of motives.
Too polite (and weakened) to deflect,
I submit, demonstrating complacency,
sacrificing autonomy; fail to assert
that it is I who is taking this life test.
And, by the way, am passing quite
adequately, which defies all rational
diagnosis and prognosis, and serves
to reassure me of ultimate success.
(Not Dead Yet first appeared here June, 2016. Image my own.)
Wind carries Autumn’s song
and I am crawling out of a nightmare
Insides churning widdershins
thoughts grasping for a forward pull
Have been to the edge,
touched the volatile
Birdsong breaks solemnity
I catch a ray of light.
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson
Last September, I was in hospital fighting
through a life threatening condition.
I penned this there. Image my own.)
Life’s mountain
a rough climb
body fails to adjust
focused as we are
on destination
Sights a sepia blur
here approaching summit
scree presents new danger
I vote we pause awhile
appreciate our labour
breathe in colour for once.
(Art mine)
I’ve been remiss
in expressing appreciation
all the years you’ve carried me –
stride confident, pace swift,
head turning grace –
We wobble now, you and I,
strength questionable
stilted soldiers forging against
a tide of contrary currents
Remember endless laps in the pool
prepping for provincial meets,
then dancing till the wee hours
getting down with disco?
We were champions, you and I
beauties taking on the world
leap-frogging in a race against
a undefinable foe, determined
that destiny held no limitation
I may not have expressed it
but each step is precious to me
and every time you hold me
upright, my gratitude’s sincere
There’s life yet to discover
and dreams still burn
Can you hear the drumming
will you join me in the dance?
(Dear Legs first appeared here in October 2017. I submit this edited version for Eugi’s Weekly prompt: champion. Image my own.)
Severe
bone
loss
One more challenge
already exhausted system
accommodating further testing
slow
climb
determination
(Written for my weekly challenge: threes. I was diagnosed with Osteoporosis last year, but due to other, more urgent health problems, treatment was put on hold. Reviewing the situation, my doctor referred me to a specialist, who said I have severe bone loss in my hip and am prime for a break. After a fight with third party insurance, I am finally on board to start a bone building drug. Ah, life! Image my own.)
Pain no longer a threat
having found numbness –
semi-permanent vacation
from insistence of
chronic battles,
this unchosen life.
(Image from personal collection)
She sits with me at breakfast,
follows me to the park,
hovers on the drive home,
celebrates when I lie down,
snuggles in with warming pad,
and moans…
Not a companion
I would have chosen,
preferred the active,
athletic life, and yet
She complains with me
in the afternoon, invites
excuses during dinner,
grounds me in the evenings
and tosses me at bedtime
Not a companion
I would have chosen,
but at least I’ll grant her this –
she’s chronically devoted.
One Woman's Quest 