Resolution

Revisiting capacity –
this old heart
more accommodating
than once imagined

Awe-inspiring
this perspective
wealth undiscovered
the fullness of being

Jealousy, such bile,
gnaws away at resolve
if I am not careful –
challenging, but I am wilful

Stay focused
task by task
there is no loss
in colouring the world
love rose

only endless bounty.

Talk

Mother said: “Look after your sister!”
What she meant was: Take this burden
off my shoulders; I am no longer able to cope.

Father said: “Do as I say, not as I do!”
What he meant was: I don’t have the wherewithal
to deal with my own problems, so don’t bring me yours.

Sister said: “Be a good auntie!”
What she meant was: I am too young to be a mother,
and you are much more responsible, so take care
of my consequences.

So I ran away to build my own life:
met a man and married, bought a house,
had children, and dreamed of a future
that would erase the past… but

Husband said: “If you really loved me,
you’d lose weight, be less effusive, control
your temper, and be more supportive of my choices.”

What he meant was: I’m going to grind you so far
into the ground and then I’m going to cheat and cheat
and you’ll have nothing left inside to do anything about it.

And without a word, I left.

What I meant was: I am a real person
with needs of my own, and despite my faults
or limitations, I deserve better.

(This is an edited version of an older poem by the same name, December 2018. Image my own)

Texas I Remember

Texas Winter donned a chill
windy days and rainy nights –
funny how I’d forgotten that

I remember coastal waters
the sheer joy of cranes in flight
or Roseated spoonbills feasting

The warm thrill of tortilla soup
and the satisfaction of enchiladas
spices still lingering in my mind

A scrap of Texas memorialized
an endearing image blotting out
the internal, newsworthy, storms.

(Image my own)

Forgiveness

Resting, I pray for peace
but it is temporary
guilt intervenes

What if I withdraw
commit to solitude
keep my tongue?

I need angel guidance
this mothering heart
infectious, requires wisdom

My past is soiled
I am stinking, tainted
Can forgiveness help?

Pick me up,
give me strength
I am lacking courage

Teach me moderation
modesty to guide my words
I only want to help…

But this vile thirst
this self-deprecation
reigns me in

What value have I
in a world stricken by need
my offering mere morsels?

I pray for peace
I pray for grace
Forgiveness offers a hand.

(Image my own).