Some Days

Why am I courting judgment
like an old friend,
popping in unexpectedly?

She overlooks my needs,
barges in reeking
of stale perfume, and
energy-sucking shoulds

I crave the subtle tones of compassion –
quiet whispers over tea –
a gentle pat, words of encouragement

But, truth be told,
I squirm at even this –
hate vulnerability,
hate this weakness on display,
this chronic, fucking disability

Seems I have dressed myself
in judgment’s cloaks,
walk in the pinched shoes
of expectations too tight

No wonder I’m exhausted,
am dying…numbed
to my own drama.

(Image my own)

Published by

VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

37 thoughts on “Some Days”

  2. A powerful poem, VJ. Love this stanza especially:

    “She overlooks my needs,
    barges in reeking
    of stale perfume, and
    energy-sucking shoulds” – such a great personification of judgement.

    Hope you’re well 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  15. We often become, overly critical of our selves, because, we were raised by parents who never, affirmed our existence, and so, we carry that, judgment, all the way, into, our, adulthood, years.

    Liked by 2 people

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