The Lie

I lied. The initial seed of disappointment has fermented, and in the absence of confrontation, grown roots written sorrowful chaptersconclusion: unworthiness Why couldn’t I just have said:I don’t understandthis makes me unhappy? Where did I learn that prevarication protectsthat I alone am responsible for emotionsthat I do not matter? Decades laterI still cannot uproot the […]

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Tired of Same Old Endings

Tired of same old endingsin which hopes are slaughteredand tragedy and insanity win. Raised by the bottle, learnedto set standards low –still afraid of heights –have fallen as the groundbeneath my aspirations crumbled –a certainly under alcohol’s rule. Tired of same old endingsin which self is battered by indifferenceand ego loses the battle for control. […]

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Liberated?

Call myself liberatedbut this modern woman’sshadow arches backwardsfinds its reflection in legacies How can I forgive my own failingswhen their tale takes root inoppression and abuses long passed?Liberated a misnomer. (Image my own.)

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Toxic

I drink the backwashof hollowed out promises Is it me, invites indifferenceexpectations so low, selfgowned in layered shame? How do I learn otherwisebreak this toxic patternif not in pursuit of love? (Tuesdays I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own)

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What Legacy?

And when the fatal breath expelsand all is quiet, will you remember me Bright as an orange bloomwith my words locked inside A poem inspiring eternityor will my essence shrivel Be lost – like dust particlesexposed in afternoon sunbeams? (Image my own.)

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Still Digging

Father, as immoveable as a mountain taught us to orchestrate submontane routes Circumnavigating his rocky moods bestowed upon us a fear of masculinity Resilience instilled the necessity of mining gold from darkness: still digging. (Sketch mine)

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Love Lessons

Had a weird sort of lexicon the man who professed to be my dad – Clamped in his chokehold he’d demand words of devotion Became inured to this dichotomy – spent a lifetime searching for love – Just the right balance of cruelty and kind. (Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson.  Sketch mine.)

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Familial Legacy

“…too young to notice how fear persists, and how the anger that causes fear persists…” – Immortality, by Lisel Mueller Purposeful, this fortress permanently ungrounded Burdened without bearing fear underlying motivation Reassured that life is unfair dedicated to defying limits Challenged by rage bloodline ingrained Pulled towards inevitable complete collapse. (Inspired by the promptings of Reena’s […]

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Shame and Weakness

I paint smiles to mask the stench Greed’s perfume triggering an avalanche shame cannot hide the fear, trembles threatening to divulge weakness. (Image by yours truly.)

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Interior Motives

Mother lives in me – her hopes and fears now embodied in my choices, this guilt borne of her suffering… and her mother – who laboured often with unwelcome toil, her only respite widowhood – it’s her legacy I bear. Potential – who once appeared with all the radiant charm of youth, exists within, also, […]

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