Liberated?

Call myself liberatedbut this modern woman’sshadow arches backwardsfinds its reflection in legacies How can I forgive my own failingswhen their tale takes root inoppression and abuses long passed?Liberated a misnomer. (Image my own.)

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Hiding Shame

When did guilt obviatethe need for sustenance? This deipnophobia paralyzingheartless stares dredge up my truth: insatiable hungerneed to stuff down emotion the certainty that I deservedthe abuse – endless shame My fork traces the outlinesseparates food groups My mind makes mental notesof what I’ll gorge on later. (Deipnophobia is the fear of dining in public. […]

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Feigning Failure

In Calculus, I excelledthough I’d never say –intellect, the monster,rendered me target. Lesson learnedI feigned disinterestmimicked others’ struggletucked the tests results away Principles of calculusno longer apply –shame of capabilitystill a failing grade.

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Shame and Weakness

I paint smiles to mask the stench Greed’s perfume triggering an avalanche shame cannot hide the fear, trembles threatening to divulge weakness. (Image by yours truly.)

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Glass Caskets

What mysteries lie in ancestral roots, what clues to illuminate the dysfunction that permeated our familial ties, cursed us with a pervasive sense of perversity? We are a portrait of deviancy: still life torsos, dismembered from birth, non- conforming hormonal structures denied reception in the aftermath of Victorianism. An aunt, who despite her outer female attributes earned […]

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Daughters, Be Free

I forge a path, for those who follow – my children and theirs. We lived a small-town, incestuous fishbowl life, before the change. As much as I would recapture the simplicity, nothing is ever the same. The horizon has shifted – former choices vacated, sad memories remain. Eerie desolation repels, yet I’ve lost an essential […]

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Day 251 Careful and Carefree

Dreams have provided a source of personal revelation for me since I started recording, and subsequently learning about them, in 1986.  The poem “The Shadow of Shame” was based on the dreams of several nights, all bearing a similar theme – my ability (or rather inability) to form relationships.   By weaving together the images from […]

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