When did guilt obviate
the need for sustenance?
This deipnophobia paralyzing
heartless stares dredge up
my truth: insatiable hunger
need to stuff down emotion
the certainty that I deserved
the abuse – endless shame
My fork traces the outlines
separates food groups
My mind makes mental notes
of what I’ll gorge on later.
(Deipnophobia is the fear of dining in public. I watched my older sister avoid eating when with others, and then gorge afterwards. I had not known there was a term for it until I came across this prompt. Image my own.)
Powerful
“Insatiable hunger to tramp down shame,” hit hard. I know I have been there and I am willing most women have.
LikeLike
Feelings of shame kill us emotionally and sometimes physically. Brilliant as ever and the image enticing to say the least:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Janet. You are right on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Didn’t know of this word either. There are many fears and phobias out there. You did a incredible job of showing the struggle, I think.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Benjamin. I agree – we could write a book on phobias.
LikeLike
Agreed. And there might be new ones that spring up all the time as well. Again: you crafted this well!
LikeLiked by 1 person
O yes, the guilt and the shame so ingrained by many voices, powerful write VJ, straight to the heart.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Paul.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
“the need to stuff down emotion” I wonder if we are the only species that has this need?? Excellent write.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure we are. thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome.
LikeLike
Amazing poem — “Deipnophobia” — wow. Same as you, did not know there was a term. I have one friend who does the same, or must, I believe, based on obvious physical indicators. I think I also used to do this as a teen, but to a much milder extent.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. Eating disorders are so prevalent, aren’t they.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Defintely. Side effect of our culture of excess maybe… xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
And the pressure to be something we are not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes!! That too!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was not aware of this term. Sometimes, the phobia arises because of the guilt that others try to induce with their sarcastic smiles and sharp looks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true, Reena.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“My fork separates food groups” !!
I like that
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person