Quantity and Quality

Raised in a battlefieldquantity doled outin abuse, qualitynot yet defined Now I write myselfout of the darknesseach chapteran uphill climb Page by pagereconciliationno shortage of wordsvalue between lines. (Image my own.)

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We Are Clay

Erasing the past –collecting ash with chopsticks –infertile practiceembrace, learn, and recreatewe are clay – artist’s magic.

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Cracking the Code

Adept at uprooting, conditioned to follow chaos – know my place there. Kindness unsettles – each ray piercing cracking the crust unleashing a prism both painful and joyous – legacy of dysfunction. (Poem from Twitter @Vjknutson.  Image from personal collection.)    

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Separated Self

Reach for her across the abyss of indifference – would hold her dear comfort her sorrows – empty promises, I now understand have abandoned her countless times in the name of obligation, this child that is me.  

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Resilience

Purpose – much coveted, despair-driven – has returned. Energy – motivation to proceed – building. Willingness – once vibrant, now constrained – resists. Chasms – loss created, unparalleled – defy bridges. Purpose – discovery born, enthusiastic – persists.

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Weighted Down

Weighted down. I swallow rocks to anchor this restlessness – no exit available. Would love to re-locate, check self-assessment into a sunnier place – but the room is not ready. I shove it back down – am a silhouette against stormy horizons. My sister and I meet here, at the edge of denial, both seeking […]

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Finding Light After Divorce

Jilted by a philandering husband and defrauded out of my share of the assets, I made a convincing victim. “You are righteously angry,” a friend counselled. Perhaps so, but something niggled at me. “A man does not stray unless there is a reason,” someone said, and I felt as if she looked right through me, […]

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Changing Direction

This path I walk is not my own; it’s paved with genetic markers, familial dysfunction, and ancestral angst. Can you see them walking with me? Those whose lives were cut too short – the addicts, the tortured, the diseased – none of us free – ensconced in blame. If you walk with me, I’ll help […]

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Tired of Same Old Endings

Tired of same old endings, in which hopes are slaughtered and tragedy and insanity win. Raised by the bottle, learned to set standards low – still afraid of heights – have fallen as the ground beneath my aspirations crumbled – a certainty under alcohol’s rule. Tired of same old endings, in which self is battered […]

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Hold Fast

Unity of thought fleeting, overpowering potential – adaptation never-ending. Possibility articulated, ridicule attached – an irrelevant couple. External/ societal motivators destroy heart, fuel panic – authority wrongly positioned. Take hold of intent, mend what lingers, forego paranoia improvement is achievable. Test urgency, measure reluctance, stand firm mid-breakdown – abandon doubt, calm thoughts Like the sun […]

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