A child like me
doesn’t believe
in wishes –
bruises a reminder
that wishes are bombs
Don’t ask me to dream –
eyes fixed on escape –
give me a nook
where I can hide –
buy one more day.
(Image my own)
A child like me
doesn’t believe
in wishes –
bruises a reminder
that wishes are bombs
Don’t ask me to dream –
eyes fixed on escape –
give me a nook
where I can hide –
buy one more day.
(Image my own)
Did you know that life would come to this?
Flattened memories pressed between wax
the essence of our efforts forgotten,
the dreams, so carefully construed, lost.
You leaned toward the conventional,
and I was ever the sentimentalist,
and yet we ended up in the same place –
shadow selves standing at the banks
of our dishevelled lives…
Survivors, nonetheless, tokens
of a a past riddled with so many lies,
so much heartbreak…
We are ghost sisters
haunted, hunting,
unable to step away –
Drawn in,
pulling apart –
all that remains.
(Family Portrait first appeared here February, 2019. Edited here. Image my own)
Child of mine,
what rage is this
that sets you against
a younger brother?
What discontent stirs
so deeply within that
you would lash out
at me, your mother?
Let us sit a moment,
and let me, with tenderness,
listen, for your anger masks
pain, and I am not so far
removed from childhood
to recognize that tone.
If I have wronged you,
speak; I need to hear it.
If peers are pressuring,
or bullying, or you feel
betrayed, lay it here
in my hands, and I will
comfort you, and offer
what wisdom I have.
Your well-being is sacred
to me; let me hold you –
you’re not too old – linger
here in my embrace until
the tears come, and the storm
passes; I will hear your fears,
frustrations, and disappointments,
and together we will figure it out.
Child of mine,
I am here for you,
no matter the reason;
your pain is my pain,
talk to me; I am listening.
(This poem first appeared Dec, 2019. Image my own)
Father’s scrutiny
inspired terror,
but that night,
catching the whiff
of alcohol on
underage breath,
I spied a hint
of a sparkle –
dared say so
“Chip off the ol’ block, eh?”
“Don’t you know it,”
he winked back.
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson.
Image my own)
Every child a dreamer
school the tribunal
where imagination
is sentenced to death
Adulthood is a canyon
where ambition shelters
the broader view, till age
resurrects the child.
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson.
Image my own.)
Does the moon envy
sun’s glorified reign –
(gender inferred)
Sons were sun
in my family,
we women lunar
Father straddled
the two – a secret
we fought to suppress
Fluidity of pronouns
non-existant
in formative years.
(Image my own)
Intensity grips the bat-
grit interwoven with anxiety
Nothing less than a home run
wins approval in this boy’s game
The lone girl, I am aflame
with rage of inequality
(Took a coveted bat and
tight fist to get me here)
Dig my feet in and stare down
the pitcher, ready to ignite the field.
(Image my own)
Two at the ends, two at the back
one for the cook, one for the help
this was the way of Sunday’s table:
hungry tums anxiously waiting,
family dog glued to the floor
lest any scrap should need saving.
Father would pray for all our saving;
serve himself before handing back,
while Mother paced the dining floor
ever offering us kids some help
till dishes, her end, piled up, waiting –
always an imbalance at our table.
Silence was the rule of the table,
stories and anecdotes were for saving,
politeness called for patient waiting –
chairs tucked in and shoulders back
and no cutting the meat without help,
cold potatoes slyly sloshing on floor.
Youngest feet not reaching the floor
tended to swing beneath the table
kicking knees could not be helped;
from fiendish scowls no saving –
Father’s hand flashed a wicked back,
scolding sermons he kept in waiting.
My tongue would tire of the waiting
no matter how I focused on the floor
and if a sister should glance me back
that would be the end of a quiet table,
giggles nervously emerging from saving
any hope of control beyond our help.
Mother’s good nature was seldom help,
nor Father’s silence as he glared, waiting,
for the situation was far beyond saving,
and his chair angrily scraped the floor
as his storming presence left the table
we happily waved at his regressing back.
***
All the stories we’ve been saving –
childhood foibles we couldn’t help
Days and people we’ll never get back
hoping that somewhere they’re waiting
That one day we’ll meet, share the floor
minus the hurt, forgiveness at the table.
(My poetry circle tried their hands at a sestina.
This is my attempt. Another tale from dinner
with Dad. Image my own.)
Father demanded first slice of pie
doled out with high brow perfection
anything less unacceptable
Crumbly bits unleashed a tirade
the shame of incompetence
crushing the reluctant server
Oppressed as we were
we children plotted,
sought a suitable revenge
He got his just dessert
cherry with a subtle trace –
scent of satisfaction.
(Note: no parents were killed in the writing of this poem. Image my own.)
Quest for independence
born of familial dysfunction
led me down a path of dissent
Compromise, I believed
was toxic, swore against
the brutality of submission
Need no one,
depend on no one
have nothing to lose
Overlooked the joy
of interdependence –
an alien concept
Chose a lonely path,
a straggler destined
never to belong…
(Image my own)