Fast-paced
moving targets
explosions
and obstacles –
a gamer’s rendition
of the quest for love.
(Tuesday is borrow from Twitter day. My words. My account: @Vjknutson. My image.)
Tag: funny
Egg-Faced
A morsel of truth
and I am off
like White Rabbit
chasing meaning,
convinced that intellect
is just the tool I need
to decode the mystery –
bruises testament to
holes I’ve climbed out of.
The Queen Is Missing
She’s not in the kitchen
presiding over preparations,
thriving amidst the chatter,
tutting away thieving fingers.
She’s not in the classroom,
mastering subjects,
upholding order,
ruling with charitable hand.
Nor is she at social affairs,
head bent in rapt attention,
smiling cordially,
gracious with compassion.
The Queen is missing –
the poise and composure
that marked her carriage
has vanished without a trace.
Don’t ask the old woman
tottering down the lane,
stooped and stumbling –
she’s not all there.
Her mind’s a trickster,
her ego a petulant child,
unwilling to concede wrong –
she’s merely the court jester.
(The Queen is Missing first appeared August of 2015.)
Herding Cats
One a Tom –
night prowler,
elusive schemer –
renders me sleepless.
Another, pampered,
a diva demanding,
high anxiety to boot –
makes me crazy.
Third, a trickster,
stays out of sight
and then springs –
keeps me on my toes.
This raising children,
like herding cats –
next to impossible,
and I’m allergic.
(A light-hearted poem in response to Willow Poetry’s What Do You See? Challenge: featured image.)
Oh Woe, Oh Why?
Why must I suffer acne still?
What trick of fate, whose wily will?
I am too far over the hill,
refuse to take a teenage pill,
must be this state of chronic ill.
(A funny ditty for Dark Side Of the Moon’s Whyquain challenge. I might have taken liberties with the form, but it was fun to write.)
Kindergarten Pie
Take a classroom of five-year-olds –
nimble-footed, names unintelligible –
add a dozen runny noses
and three boo-boos
and one unfortunate ‘accident’.
Introduce a teacher –
holiday hazed and overtired –
mix with a controversial curriculum,
a dash of micromanaging parents,
and splash of report cards due.
Blend cautiously,
taking care that all ingredients remain
in the bowl…er…classroom…
Bake for five days,
cool over the weekend.
(I taught Kindergarten for a day and still have nightmares about it, lol. To all the primary teachers out there – I am not worthy. You are amazing. Poem inspired by a recent dream, and written in the spirit of this week’s challenge: recipe. Challenge is open all week – would love it if you joined in.)
Implications of a Wink
A wink?
Seriously?
Am I meant to smile
in conspiratorial culpability,
was that a Colgate
bright teeth,
complete with chime
wink, or…
a big bad wolf,
I’m coming to get you
later wink, or…
hand-in-cookie-jar,
you didn’t see this –
in which case,
I wink.
(Written for dVerse‘s quadrille night – a poem in 44 words – with the prompt, wink; and for Ragtag Community’s, chime.)
A Woman with No Name
Descended from fire,
I am earth, and spring,
and graciousness –
Oh, that it were so –
fiery yes, with a love
of nature, but grace?
Truth is I am 5th born,
not supposed to be –
naming left to father
who fumbled in the act,
named me incorrectly
and thus my identity
was born of confusion –
rushed and flustered –
a woman with no name.
(dVerse challenge today is write a poem based on our full names. Even though I have three given names, thanks to my father, I’ve only been known by initials. Photo is of a granddaughter.)
Beauty Routine
Plump the lips
pad the ass,
pull abs in
Push-up bras
and false eyelash,
botox, and brows
Make us pretty
much less witty –
do not overdo
Natural is rave
naked is yuck –
to find perfection
choose a routine
that sculpts and
shapes, then lie.
(dVerse quadrille prompt is yuck, Ragtag Community is plump, Fandango offers routine, Daily Addictions is apparent.)
Freak Show’s in Town
Come one! Come all!
Step right up folks!
See the amazing,
one-of-a-kind,
baby-juggling
woman!
Come see this matron
turned tigress!
Witness how the weaker sex
transforms into a powerhouse
of resourcefulness –
a magnificent multi-tasker!
You will not believe your eyes!
These are no ordinary
babies, Ladies and Gentleman!
See the menacing three-year-old
who looks like an angel but
has the mind of a devil!
Look upon the smallest child –
only months old, but with lungs
that will shatter glass.
Be awed by the gigantic
boy baby, youngest of them all,
whose appetite is insatiable.
Step right up folks!
Watch as this extra-
ordinary woman
breast-feeds two babies
and prepares supplemental formula
all whilst reading to the third!
Behold how she balances
two baby carriers
while strapping
a toddler into
her car seat!
Marvel over how
she shops for groceries –
a impossible feat!
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Tremble as she manoeuvres
her two-carted entourage
through people-ridden aisles,
list firmly gripped between
her teeth, while emitting
a constant stream of baby talk,
keeping the trying toddler
on a verbal leash.
Sigh with relief
as silence settles
over the household
and our heroine falls
into a deep, exhausted sleep.
Be terrified as she awakens
with a start, suddenly realizing
she has abandoned her boy-child,
in her vehicle, overnight!
You will be amazed!
You will be inspired!
You will be horrified!
Step right up,
Ladies and Gentleman!
This is a one-of-a-kind,
never-seen-anything-like-it
attraction, guaranteed
to entertain!
Catch it here, live!
Twenty-four/ seven,
Ladies and Gentlemen!
No two shows are alike!
Step right up folks!
Admission is free!
(Sarah S. is hosting dVerse Poetics with the theme “Come to the Circus”. I wrote this poem in April of 2016 when dreams of parenting three small children – and an oversized boy-child – kept haunting me.)
