abuse – Page 3 – One Woman's Quest

Just Saying

I wade through the muck
of your vocal excretions
anxious to mend the schism

What species of human
are you, would fabricate
such lies, impose such pain

And what species am I
that would tolerate it;
strive for reparation?

(Image my own)

Love Lessons

Had a weird sort of lexicon
the man who professed
to be my dad –

Clamped in his chokehold
he’d demand words of devotion

Became inured to this dichotomy –
spent a lifetime searching for love –

Just the right balance of cruelty and kind.

(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Sketch mine.)

Coming of Age

Green eyes captivate,
he whispers, warm hand
resting on youthful thigh

Stomach somersaults
reviled by whiskey breath
yellowed fingers clutching

Not these eyes! I stand
tossing my drink in his face;
coming of age moment.

Fight For Truth

Legends make
and legends break
and some are clouds
for truth…

We stalk fame
Wear blinders
Deny greed
Worship lust

Somber propositions
streaked with blood
outsmart watchful eyes

Run to save the children
those vulnerable ones
wounds still tender

No matter how guarded
no matter how impenetrable the walls
expose the beast, fight the devil

Let truth define the legend.

(Written for all those women, men, and children exploited by the famous and powerful. Linking up with Eugi’s Causerie weekly prompt: legend.)

Shame and Weakness

I paint smiles
to mask the stench

Greed’s perfume
triggering
an avalanche

shame

cannot hide
the fear, trembles
threatening to divulge

weakness.

(Image by yours truly.)

A Sister’s Twists

She prepared me for the worst
omission of positives purposeful –

Saving me from disappointment
her justification for inflicted wounds –

Years, I’ve railed against her abuse
pointless since she’s long been a ghost.

Separated Self

Reach for her
across the abyss
of indifference –

would hold her dear
comfort her sorrows –
empty promises,
I now understand

have abandoned her
countless times
in the name of obligation,
this child that is me.

Treading Trauma

Treading water
where barracudas swarm,
inject a drop of kindness
incite a ravenous threat

Quick the decision to bail,
shed contamination,
resulting terror –
shame exposed.

Now tread slough
longing floored
robed in foreboding
trembling in shadows.

(I have made poor choices in my life, which still haunt my dreams. My therapist says to focus on the “quick departure”, honour myself for making the right decision in the moment. Still, guilt lives on. Such is the nature of trauma. It lingers in our psyche. Image from personal collection.)

Parental Poison

A milk jug,
handle turned in,
was all it took
for father to lather,
a barrage of curses
decrying our lack of worth,
foaming from his mouth –
spittle that remains lodged
in our psyche – drug
resistant venom.

(Tuesdays poems come from Twitter. Follow me at @Vjknutson. Image from personal collection.)

Displaced in Patriarchy

Long since
dawn’s early
observation,
have witnessed
patriarchy’s
inequalities

first hand
second hand

lack a solution,
short of vengeance –
perpetrate rather
than end the cycle
of crime –

no place
to call home.

(Image from personal collection.)