Treading Trauma

Treading water
where barracudas swarm,
inject a drop of kindness
incite a ravenous threat

Quick the decision to bail,
shed contamination,
resulting terror –
shame exposed.

Now tread slough
longing floored
robed in foreboding
trembling in shadows.

(I have made poor choices in my life, which still haunt my dreams.  My therapist says to focus on the “quick departure”, honour myself for making the right decision in the moment.  Still, guilt lives on.  Such is the nature of trauma.  It lingers in our psyche.  Image from personal collection.)

 

14 comments

  1. The power of dreams is in dishing up the “past” trauma over and over until it eventually lessens the grip. I’ve lived long enough to observe this in my dreams. Of course, lessening one creates space to bring up another … but I now take in the dream, sit with it, integrate its messages … unlike my refusal to acknowledge dreams at all back in younger years. Denying trauma seems to amplify its grip on me.

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  2. The path to wisdom is full of mistakes, some of which are bad decisions. I want to believe that as rough as this has made my life, that it has also made me wiser. Trauma will always be carried with us and I think we do often deny it and are reminded by our dreams. What amazing creatures we humans are! Thanks for sharing your powerful words.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s interesting that even when one feels like issues have been dealt with in waking time, one’s dreams bring up a mish-mash of straggly ends that call to us. Yes, “quick departure’ is a wonderful tactic. Wishing you more sweet dreams, V.J.

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