Death Reveals Inadequacy

Mother is fearful, time slipping through her fingers, loneliness enveloping her. I hold space for her in my thoughts, my heart aching in beat with hers. Guilt tosses me up and down – inadequacy knows no bests.  

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The Last Train (Sonnet)

We wait at the station, Mother and I, one final stop for her – painless she prays; I linger at bedside – prolonged goodbye – memories and regrets filling our days. “We live too long,” she wearily proclaims, “Why must suffering linger till the end?” I plea and bargain, call angelic names, yet the will […]

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Talk To Me Of Horses

Talk to me of horses, the young man says, thin locks of blonde matted on a sweaty brow, flashes of blue that fade as eyes succumb to weariness, the constant whoosh, whoosh of respirator. Talk to me of horses; the world is losing its grip and I have no cares for the weather or car […]

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Where Servitude Ends

Born to be domesticated in a white, controlled desert tending to two-leggeds – blamed for delinquencies I fed but did not groom – privacy overrun by wannabes everyone has their own scheme – I am finished, threaten to disclose neglect – no limitation to disgust What fate is this? Abandoned only to perish – Have […]

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Learning About Death

Taylor was diagnosed with lung cancer at the age of twenty-one. Although he never smoked a day in his life, his father’s family were heavy smokers, and he suffered for it.  He was my cousin Lynn’s only son. I belonged to a weekly meditation circle at the time, and Taylor, who was studying to be […]

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Saying Goodbye To Father

My father fought against death at the end, even though he was wracked with pain,  had difficulty breathing, and spent many of his nights in hospital. “At what point do we stop all this intervention, Dad, and talk about keeping you comfortable?” It was the early hours of the morning after another night spent in […]

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A Witness To Death

My mother told me that when she was a child, she would wake up in the middle of the night to find her mother slaving over the woodstove.  Grandma was a midwife.  Mom said Grandma’s dreams would tell her when a baby was coming, and she would get up and cook for her family, knowing […]

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Acceptance

“I know what I want to give my Father.”  Dee looked at me through her veil of blonde hair.  Her face always bore such sweetness, yet the young girl I knew was so intense. “Tell me.” Dee was dying.  This was her third dance with cancer, and the doctor’s said it would be her last.  […]

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