British roots define
particular brand of
peculiarity – shared
claustrophobia –
fear of closeness;
need to lie down,
separate myself,
am married now
childless dreams
dust; I am cook,
cleaner – project
sparkle where dirt
still lingers, losing
rationality, not quite
catching on; want
to send flowers,
honour passings
but soul wounds,
unbandaged, gape –
hunger to be free.
(Image:Â www.apa.org)
(A little light-hearted word play.  Hope you enjoy.)
Anger, invested in former foibles –
an underground agent for disaster –
makes recommendations, promotes
aggressive agenda, takes the lead,
direction (or lack of it) exploding,
repurposes itself, expectations
that its self-serving cause is
perfectly understandable.
Understand perfectly
that self-serving causes
are expectations, repurposed
explosions of misdirections,
leading takes agenda,
aggressive promotion
recommendations make
disastrous agents for
underground foibles,
formerly invested in anger.
(Image:Â teddyray.com)
Impulse would take me back –
resurrect lost passions –
a grave robber taking counsel
from the dead – volatility
a public declaration of extent
of bad choices – no exaggeration –
stench of unburied dreams burn
the eyes when exposed to open air,
the politeness of civil society.
(Image:Â mongolschinaandthesilkroad.blogspot.com)
Keep distance!
Inner child
intimate with abuse;
a sad comedian
spontaneity ploy
masking deadness –
major screwup –
God’s grace
unscathed
minus mishaps
hip movement
frozen scream
roads collide
life on periphery
repercussions
cognitive gears
breaking ice
encountering foes
reflexes delayed
safety intangible
borrowing time
health a trial
defeat conceded
relinquished control
Keep distance!
Inner child
driving the show.
Breaking through loss –
alone without independence –
reach out for former lover,
wanting to renegotiate the terms
of our disruption,
am permanently horizontal, restless,
in this unexpected life.
Reckless youth
torturing me – I am vulnerability
landed, past mistakes rippling through –
need to find a private place away
from myself where reassurance is
a dinner mate, and fear
otherwise engaged.
But the past cannot be
retrieved, and there is support
in the present, if I let down
this guard, I’ll feel
the security
of love.
(Image:Â parisapartment.wordpress.com)
What options for long term care?
Will life linger, abandon me, alone?
If unconditional love exists, then let
it talk to me, gesture desire, offer
support – safety only comes with sleep
despite this troubled unconsciousness;
oversensitive, naive perhaps, will make it,
if only I push outside the comfort of my bed.
suspicious of following, consuming, believe
that outsiders have forgotten me, worried –
security lies in the hands of loving, attentive
companion, otherwise; trying to trust life.
(Image:Â perfumeonherpassport.wordpress.com)
Accessible living –
exercise of uncertainty –
parking lot nightmares,
doorway barricades,
shopping intolerable.
Separate sleeping
quarters – no access
to slumber; more mishaps
than a puppy; broken,
despicable, disconnected.
Inherently wise hover over
disclosure of disease,
claim proprietorship,
push acceptance of
causal theories.
We are innocents,
tender-hearted,
veil our hurt, refuse
to be driven down,
wholeness buried.
Doors open –
build a career,
strive for a postion
with authority, discover
new possibility, relocate,
be unique, spontaneous;
conned by
administration,
lack of status verified,
excluded by internal
friendships, soulless
searching for
personal wealth.
Opportunity to earn –
engage business space –
have the big reveal,
believe boisterous
sales pitch, advertise
ineffectively, wait on
authority; bottomline –
not as previously thought
Who’s in charge?
Where’s the value?
Need to feel useful –
corporately accepted,
recognized, social needs
addressed, maybe visited
by a president; supported
by others, a someone –
a personal worker’s
heaven.
(image:Â www.bizepic.com)
Motoring through duality,
straining, in the middle –
socialized, yet reticent –
My heart is overflowing,
like an unwatched sink
falling apart, too much
Driving, the past’s rain
blurring any joy; feel
dirty, taut, losing control
Harm vanishes, comes
back around; hosting
good intentions, rank;
Progression entirely
defined by vulnerability
smothering celebration
Towed along by sweetness
of children, dining on their
innocence banishes despair.
Uplifted by invitations,
cherish the extended
kindness – crushed by
the inevitable no that
follows – limitations
a sad reality – energy
restricted to one or
two tasks, no more;
just thinking about it
exhausting enough.
What road lies ahead
for those of us cut down
too early – abandoned by
our bodies, left out of
life – while others veer
towards celebration,
vitality, shall we just
drift aimlessly, blood
and flesh dissolving
into the cosmic river
of being, imperceptible,
undefinable, forgotten?
(image:Â hdblackwallpaper.com)
One Woman's Quest 