aging – Page 15 – One Woman's Quest

Past Prime

Celebrity bores
I crave sapid exchange – bird
song, sweet and tender
I am past prime – gigs dried up
but nature provides plenty.

(Image mine)

Shadow Dancing

Inessential am I
ghost of a woman
burden avoidance

Imperfect am I
each flaw a step
towards deepening blue

And yet, I exist
purpose unknown
shadow dancing.

(Image: Self-portrait)

Urgency

I weave words
with alacrity –
on a mission

Foreign forces
infiltrate brain
cells scrambling

Must write
till ability wanes
thoughts hang

Disconnected
brushed away
like cobwebs

(Tuesdays I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own.)

Chagrin

Rehearse my role –
charm-school warmth
intellect engaged,
an air of mystique –

Tongue trips
brain backfires
a fool emerges
chagrinned again.

(Tuesday I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. In this case, edited. Image my own.)

Odd, this gift of solitude. Perched canal side, I affirm my connection to the earth, and offer thanks. Late afternoon sun casts a glow on the foliage across the way, lighting up the mirror-still water. Vibrant reflections.

Two winters ago, I fought to breathe as temperatures fell below zero. Impassible walkways trapped me indoors. Depression fought for possession. Hope struggles in imposed isolation.

“There are no absolutes in life,” a professor once told me, and I think of that now –
how just when it feels as if one sentence has been handed down, sealed, an opening appears. I am fortunate, savour the moment.

Heron’s watchful stride
invites reflection, respect –
Winter’s solitude.

(Rapture first appeared here February 2019. I offer an edited version here.

Fear vs Faith

All is movement
all is change

Why then am I stuck
a rock holding its ground?

Each moment flows
into the next
then is gone

Calm unsettles me
I stand upon the bank
and search for rapids

Let go of worry
trust process
Life is a river

Take me to that river
bathe me in faith
for now, I fear the flow.

Shallow Measures

Didn’t have to say it –
read between the lines,
the “and you too”
as an afterthought

pathetic attempt to
cover truth – ugly
I was, unlike sisters
whose beauty raved

Only in flashbacks,
time gifting objectivity
do I see it wasn’t true –
depth shines through.

(Image from personal collection.)

Resilience

Purpose –
much coveted
despair-driven –
has returned.

Energy –
motivation
to proceed –
building

Willingness –
once vibrant
now constrained –
resists.

Chasms –
loss created
unparalleled –
require bridges.

Purpose –
discovery born
enthusiastic –
persists.

(Resilience first appeared here in October, 2018. I submit a slightly revised edition here for Ragtag Community’s daily prompt: resilience.)

I Grow Roses

I grow roses to remember
a beloved grandmother
the dreams of innocence
the blush of summer love

I grow roses to believe
that life has purpose
and time has no end
and love defies boundaries.

I grow roses to understand
that beauty and pain coexist
and life is about cycles
and simple things have great value.

(Linking up with Eugi’s Causerie, prompt: blush. Image from personal collection.)

Bystander

Dare I confess
the hollowness
of my heart

How emptiness
echoes in its chambers
How lost I feel inside

This is no sanctity
no secure refuge
my withdrawal is a sham

I stand by, observe –
circles entwine, embrace –
recognize the power of love

Practice the words
extend warmth
and retreat, before

connection ignites
convinced as I am
that the vacancy is merited.

(Image from personal collection.)