aging · creativity · ME/ CFS · mental-health · poetry · writing

Urgency

I weave words
with alacrity –
on a mission

Foreign forces
infiltrate brain
cells scrambling

Must write
till ability wanes
thoughts hang

Disconnected
brushed away
like cobwebs

(Tuesdays I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson.  Image my own.)

change · life · poetry · spirituality · women's issues

Mind Games

What harbinger is this
and why am I not convinced?

Cynicism wants concretes,
feeds complaints,
exaggerates,
retreats

Need to confront
this wall-building,
fight to retain
Spirit’s message –
deescalate fear’s grip.

(For Reena’s Exploration challenge#119.  Image from personal collection.)

 

adversity · aging · brain health · ME/ CFS · poetry · writing

Awkward

Chance encounter,
a simple “hello”,
and I reel
backwards,
grasping…

blank

the mind a trickster,
memory inaccessible,
panic pulses

a response…

hovers

out of reach

expectancy
a deadline…

Am I smiling?
Or just an inert fool,
this brain fog
a cruel master.

(Ran into an old friend today.  Could not remember her name, nor where I knew her from, only that we knew each other quite well.  This is has been happening frequently – maybe as I get out more.  Very disconcerting.

Prompts today are from Fandango:  deadline; Ragtag Community: pulse; and Daily Addictions: access.)

adversity · aging · brain health · mental-health

Losing Language

hardwood…
it rolls off my tongue
stops in mid-air, mind halting
Is that a real word?
I stretch for familiarity,
find none – I apologize
quizzical expressions
indicate my mistake –
such a funny word,
I fumble for explanation
humiliation crowding

How do you spell resile?
my English teacher brain
searches, comes up empty
Do you mean reconcile?
No.  So I google it
discover its validity
spell it out –
can’t say I ever knew the word

thicket, I type
and then back space –
need a term to describe
prickly shrubbery, off
the beaten path, but
it eludes me, the letters
line up but fail to evoke
recognition. why

is my mind turning,
blank spaces replacing
stored knowledge, as if
corruption has overtaken
memory’s files – thoughts
sputter, drop beginnings
and endings of words –
dragging me through muddy
fog, shutting me down…

(Note:  for those that don’t know me,
I am challenged by ME/CFS, a disease
that affects cognitive functioning. 
Writing is a way for me to battle
the deterioration – this poem
illustrates the frustration.

Image: pixelmuttz.blogspot.com)