How do we recognize truth
in what is reflected back to us
especially when intrinsic knowing
has been domesticated out of us –
servility replacing preservation?
We are drawn by an insatiable
thirst to drink from the well
of human connections, require
acknowledgment, appreciation,
cannot bear to conceive of a life
of loneliness – we are social,
travel in packs, affectionate
souls conditioned to co-habitate,
habits instructing outcomes –
would be lost without mirrors.
A dear soul slipped from life’s grasp this week, leaving a hole in many hearts. Diana’s words, here, say so much more than I could have, still raw with grief.
so frail now
your fingertips in mine
supported gently
parchment paper skin
venous rivers slow, tepid within
..
as the sand slowly sifts
i squeeze
i try to halt the final grains, yet
this maudlin hourglass only drains
to somber clock tick
sentry gated soldiered seconds fall
the war is over
all is lost
that is all
..
a last dawn
this last day
as curtains part
your light slips away
I am losing ground,
disinterest piling up,
suffocating – I moan
childish communication
enraged, and humiliated,
hurt; my opinion more
impulse than acceptable
relatives bitch, correct,
dethrone me – an outsider
sidling in, like a politician
mingling, lingering, attacked
why am I so dependent
on this oddball interaction?
celebration is just a formality
and my enthusiasm misplaced
but at least, I am present.
I loved him with the passion
of a child – he was the sun
and I the golden calf – a mutual
worship, trust and respect.
His words were my sustenance,
mother’s lap busy with a baby,
older sisters reluctant to embrace
a half-sister and unasked for dad.
Reassured by his promises,
bolstered by his protectiveness
I felt his loyalty, committed to
reciprocating, so when he turned
on mother – his tongue a cruel
master – I faulted her too,
guessed she must be lower
than the exalted – he and I –
but as the tirades escalated
and the promises fell empty,
the tarnish began to show,
and I shifted allegiance –
intervened against maniacal
outbursts, tried to interject
sensibility, dissuade drunken
frays, the ferocity of his heat
no long warming, crushed
our family’s equilibrium –
he disappeared to soon
into the safety of death
left me reeling in the dark,
trying to decipher the codes
of his torment, the betrayal of
a father who was once my sun.
Attending awards ceremonies
calls for muzzled comportment,
fail to appreciate the adulation
of one over many, tend to believe
these things are tainted, overblown
but this is just the ramblings of
a self-defacing personality, opinions
unacceptable in most circles, and
certainly amongst those whose scoff
at such remarks, view me as common
those who sniff at the asses of the noted
and noteworthy, as if proximity equates
with greatness, ignoring the fact that
success is achieved through hard work
and cooperation, trampling the ‘littles’
in their scramble for accolades –
it’s disparaging – am I alone in feeling
as if I’m watching an out of control
train, headed for derailment, an event
sure to elicit fame – at such a cost?
(The Daily Post prompt is tend. ))
Introducing
colour to water
offering it up
to blank pages
learning less is better
and gentle strokes
elicit blossoming results
Introducing
colour to water
breathing life into
blank spaces
offering gentleness
to blossoming creativity
reveling in the delight.
(This poem was penned for the Story Circle’s Network
e-poetry group in response to February’s prompt – treasured
moments.”
Teach the children to comply,
to learn by rote, to master
the art of performance
encourage them to control
the chatter, their fidgets
behave like little adults
so as adults they may
struggle for authenticity
confuse society with audience
forgo instincts for crowd
pleasing responses – wonder
at the innocence of children.
Tenacious are we,
will not be derailed
by rock-hard inflexibility
nor disintegrating foundations
we endure, require little
in the way of adulation
or support, self-sufficient
warriors, timeless
we adhere to a call
of evolution, indestructible,
sustained by a productivity
and a steadfast will.
(Inspired by this photo taken at Coon’s Bluff, Tonto National Forest, Arizona.)
Aging, I am
and disabled,
unreliability
trending
Escape is proposed
my oozing scars
beg a stand
discover determination
This slumbering
has become impulsive
need discipline
to quiet the pain
I am whiny
self-mothering
counselling bedrest
prone to coddling
need to shake off
this disoriented
weakened state –
escaped is proposed.
It’s all about investment, really
life, I mean – make a deposit,
withdraw – hope that in the end
the gain is worth more than
the cost – a healthy balance.
Have been running deficits,
too focused on serving others,
practicing the art of giveaways –
incentives to capture attention
(affection too, if I’m honest.)
I’m every marketer’s dream –
impulsive, in the moment,
disbelieve that time is money –
illness having dumped time
on my lap in massive dollops
I’d say energy equates with
income, begets funds – all
redundant now, overdrawn
as I am, no safety deposit
securing balanced health.
