Tag: healing

An Escape Plan

An incorrigible hag
engages my loneliness –
like an assassin sniffing out
any scent of vulnerability

I am lowering standards
this history of imprisonment
enabling inappropriate openings

I cry for new perspective
ponder after boundaries
intending to defend

Like an unwanted bullseye
I am pursued on repeat
malice considering me
a problem to be solved

Who is this old woman
whose thoughts are daggers
who calls upon predators
to devour my freedom?

And what ancestral legacy
sets me on such tenuous ground
entrusts the key to my soul
to such devilish factions?

I strike out and miss
am twice thwarted
but refuse to submit

Have espied the resources within
will defeat the infernal voices
and confront the witch

Wits calculating
confidence a repellent
teetering on the edge of victimhood
not a path I care to repeat.

(Ink sketch my own)

Who Am I?

(Trigger warning: this poem alludes to child abuse)

Who I am
if not a harbinger –
eyes turned to the sky
diligent?

And what defines me
beyond calm in a crisis
action-taking, firmly
responsible?

No bystander here
I will fight injustice
free the wrongfully accused
capable

Driven
driving
fearless
awake

No sleeping
when danger presents
turmoil relentless
nightmares persist

Visions of uprising
and natural disasters
filling my dreams –
I grow weary

I cry, but no one is listening
the bustle outside reflective
of lives being lived
while I cower

Worried that the sky will fall
and I will be too torn
too bruised
to rise to the occasion

That child I coddled
now questioning my motives
that woman I saved
scoffing at my delusion

I am neither saint nor saviour
I am just a woman/child running
from the drunk under the table
still trying to define herself
as anything but his prey.

(Drawing is my own)

Childhood Home

The place remains in my dreams
like a movie set preserved…

Have assigned each room
a critique – disclosed the crimes

Yet, it remains, like a beacon
draws me to it, begs reflection

What if I could go back
now that I can breathe

Now that I’ve laid claim to maturity;
would I discover a sudden windfall?

Makeover conditioned motifs;
reevaluate ceiling heights?

With resources to remodel
heart open, connected

might I uncover abundance
like a personal embrace.

(Childhood Home first appeared May, 2020. Image my own)

The Other Side

Wind carries Autumn’s song
and I am crawling out of a nightmare

Insides churning widdershins
thoughts grasping for a forward pull

Have been to the edge,
touched the volatile

Birdsong breaks solemnity
I catch a ray of light.

(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson
Last September, I was in hospital fighting
through a life threatening condition.
I penned this there. Image my own.)

Open To Healing

Open to healing –
create a space for inspiration
delve into the subconscious

Enter with pure intentions
ignore limited capabilities –
no offerings are meager –

Embrace new starts
with faith in ability –
be spurred into action

Self holds the answers
creative expression is key –
no expertise required.

(Open to Healing first appeared here in August, 2015.
Edited for this post. Art my own)