Don’t believe in soulmates
just soul power – the ability
of human yearning to actuate
love’s potential –
Of course, I’m far from a rookie
bear the scars of infatuation’s
fallout, prefer kindness
and respect to romantic fluff.
(Tuesdays I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson.  Image my own.)
Mistake
Beg forgiveness
Repeat
Appearances sanitize past
Push dirt under the rug
Smother recall
Reason can be fraud
common sense out of order
Suspicions merit
an ear, listen
over din of betrayal.
(For Reena’s Exploration Challenge #135: quotation. “Always listen twice. First what’s being said, then who said it.” Image my own.)
Strains of Tijuana Brass flood the yard
while father on bended knee tends
his garden, tiers of stone edged rows
encircling a trio of birch trees.
Father points out birches on Sunday
drives, as if the bark is sacred, leaves
whispering a secret I cannot hear –
stirs in me an indefinable longing.
My husband planted birch trees
there amongst the flower beds –
how the leaves shimmer in sunlight,
how my heart quickens, bittersweet.
Imagine Father seated there, mellow
as he was in old age, angst expended,
tyranny of parenting set aside – understand
love unexpressed dwells in birch trees.
(Watercolour image by yours truly)
Fast-paced
moving targets
explosions
and obstacles –
a gamer’s rendition
of the quest for love.
(Tuesday is borrow from Twitter day. My words. My account: @Vjknutson. My image.)
Sold my soul for union –
destruction built-in
Narcissism is a bastard
luxuriates in self-catering
Did not anticipate loss –
innocence slaughtered
Force to grow sensibility
don a tough shell –
Would not let betrayal
call me by name.
It was not meandering
that shredded my heart
but the loss of a child
caught in the crossfire
too young to discern
parental alienation.
(Image from personal collection.)
Dare I confess
the hollowness
of my heart
How emptiness
echoes in its chambers
How lost I feel inside
This is no sanctity
no secure refuge
my withdrawal is a sham
I stand by, observe –
circles entwine, embrace –
recognize the power of love
Practice the words
extend warmth
and retreat, before
connection ignites
convinced as I am
that the vacancy is merited.
(Image from personal collection.)
She prepared me for the worst
omission of positives purposeful –
Saving me from disappointment
her justification for inflicted wounds –
Years, I’ve railed against her abuse
pointless since she’s long been a ghost.
Of course she is away
caught in the schism
of her parents’ divorce
played like a pawn
She is emotionally numb
incapable of articulating
wants and desires – broken
though no one notices.
(Poem originally appeared on Twitter. Visit me @Vjknutson. Image from personal collection.)
In essence, you are neither
lover nor demon, but
the temperate wind
stirring my sorrowful
past – conduit of unrest.
(Tuesday, I borrow from my Twitter poems. Visit me @Vjknutson.)
Set me on a lonely road
and I will shine –
solitude a strength
And yet, I have an inner pull,
a need for connection,
a longing for depths of love.
But what of these dreams –
do relationships deter direction,
and must I always wait on another?
Intimacy is complicated,
the route undefined,
I am chilled, fatigued
How does the heart decide
when love challenges
arrogance, and fear takes hold?
(Connecting to Eugi’s Weekly prompt: complicated, and Reena’s Exploration Challenge – featured image.)
One Woman's Quest 