A grackle shimmers
sun highlighting blue – my mood
queer melancholy –
absent knocks, talks, minutiae
remains discomforting din.
(Photo mine)
Category: psychology
Still Digging
Father, as immoveable
as a mountain
taught us to orchestrate
submontane routes
Circumnavigating
his rocky moods
bestowed upon us
a fear of masculinity
Resilience instilled
the necessity of mining
gold from darkness:
still digging.
(Sketch mine)
Self-Actualization
The magic is not
in crossing paths
with celebrity
Gaining entry
into inner circles
deconstructing myths
Magic is the moment
when flattery does not sway
when recognition surpasses
the gloss of stargazing
embraces inner substance
evolves into self-acceptance.
(For Eugi’s Causerie Weekly prompt: magic. Art my own.)
Still Travelling
Travel East
in search of self
Half family extends
unexpected warmth
Is my identity here
with stranger-brothers?
I contemplate pausing
surrendering to other
But this is sleep-walking
the distance still remains
Journey has no end
till soul has purpose
and wisdom relieves
the wounded child.
(Submitted for Eugi’s Causerie weekly prompt:identity. Image shows an old house with wrap around porch in monotone. From my personal collection.)
I Am Shadow
I am shadow
darkness clouding light
sun’s alter ego –
I speak of hidden
truths, altered lies
guard broken places
Crack my surface
I am ice, will thaw
reveal patches
I am shadow
fear me not –
a path to wholeness.
(Tuesday, I borrow from my Twitter poems @Vjknutson. Image my own)
Unapologetic
If they call you vermin
show them moxie
no explanation needed
Best path is paved
with honesty, avoid
potholes of popularity
Authentic self
travels further
without camouflage.
(Image from personal collection.)
Heed the Warnings
Legends surface
graze at river’s edge
nuzzle our consciousness
Ancient prophecies
born of primal instincts
Crow’s caw a warning
Spirit speaks
calls us to witness
to record this passage
The predator
at our doorsteps
phantom fierce
Targets indiscriminately
threatens the cherished
sleeps with one eye open
Now is not the time to freeze
neither distraction, nor dismissal
will disable this animal
It circles, begs a host
Please don’t open the door
History knows we need a valid plan.
(Submitted for Eugi’s Causerie Weekly Prompt:Â cherish. Image my own.)
Child Remembers
Not yet double digits when the sting
of rejection punctured my ego –
“We can’t play with you,” peers
gloated; “our mothers said.”
What did I know of reasons
or replies, just felt a part of me die.
Still trying to win approval,
heal my nine-year-old heart.
Turning Point
Played host to insecurity –
catered to bullying
undermined by warped
agendas, butchered by
provincial minds –
Retreated, convalesced,
sanitized lost vitality,
believed in phantoms
haunted by compulsions
deflected attempted rescues
ignored counsel to let go.
Shell-shocked
aftermaths
incoherent
self-judgment
inescapable.
Where do I go from here?
Ignore criticism
disarm cruelty
sanctify privacy
detach, discern
redefine boundaries
embrace enlightenment
Focus on caring
be receptive –
choose life.
(Turning Point first appeared here December, 2015, a year and a half into isolation imposed by illness. I offer an edited version here with the intention of demonstrating the psychological toll of unexpected isolation. The loss of our routine, life, connections affects us all on many levels. Be kind to self and others. We all respond to that loss differently. Linking up with Eugi’s Causerie weekly prompt: enlighten.  Image my own.)
Return to Center
Centred, I project merit
directed by routines
grief securely stored
Anxiety, not so compartmentalized
reveals that I am outsider, pliable,
pursues a validating response.
Perfectionism despises vulnerability
balance embraces contradictions
complexity overwhelms – I breath.
(Image from personal collection.)
One Woman's Quest 