Bent –
life’s tribulations weighty
do not confuse this folding
with weakness, I am
worn –
tested resilience
nourishes creativity
I am muse rich,
alive –
alone my story
an illustration,
my life art.
Bent –
life’s tribulations weighty
do not confuse this folding
with weakness, I am
worn –
tested resilience
nourishes creativity
I am muse rich,
alive –
alone my story
an illustration,
my life art.
Morning light but a trickle
mind switches into gear,
body resisting response,
ambition thwarted by illness,
the usual game – pray this day
will embrace gently, and
bring a gift of healing.
(Image from personal collection.)
It’s complicated, really, but so much
is defined by the presence of a garage.
Here is a stand-alone, connected by
a breezeway, single-car with storage;
could have been so much more –
had planned for it, but life changes.
Once had an oversized garage – direct
access, housed two vehicles, custom
built – but the cars are gone now, and
the single stands vacant, like my mind.
Except, the other day, I swore I glimpsed
an animal there, perched on the shelving
fierce, cat-like eyes caught in the dim
light of an open doorway – a tigress,
body crouched – I backed away, but
not before claws pierced my imagination
tended to the bleeding, chastising my
foolishness – of course, she isn’t real –
I lost my feminine prowess long ago,
am more of a groundhog now – slow
moving, podgy, sniffing the air for hints
of change, burrowing in the face of trouble.
A family lived here once: a tightly knit
portrait of three, lulled by the protection
offered – no storms to weather –
until the husband left, daughter
in tow; ducked beneath closing
of the automated door –
me, trapped beneath layers of regret
choking on their fumes, homeless.
Would ignore her, except for
those grasping, white-knuckled
fingers pleading for rescue;Â would
shoulder her, but shudder to host such
destruction within my walls,
already robbed of equilibrium
this state of heightened vigilance
a cause for neglecting self – have
humoured one too many advantage-
taker, cannot trust my own instincts
am disillusioned, no longer content
with inconsistencies, need to
confront the condition of my garage,
clean out the accumulation of stored
nonessentials – maybe hold a sale –
whitewash the interior and buy a car.
(Reena’s Exploration challenge this week is the long and short of it. Â The above poem is the long. Â The short follows.)
If life is defined by a garage,
then mine is single, attached,
empty and needing work.
(The original version of this poem was published in August 2016. Â It has been reworked for this edition.)
Pain no longer a threat
having found numbness –
semi-permanent vacation
from insistence of
chronic battles,
this unchosen life.
(Image from personal collection)
Gossamer
that thread,
that sparkle,
that vestige
of my youth
I try to hold on,
gnarly grip
no match for
her exuberance
Hope we reunite
next time around.
(Image from personal collection)
Knee-deep wading
in electric yellow waters
of mud-laden stream
the coveted prize –
a mutated version –
Christ’s fish hovers
arms reach away –
have touched it –
recoiled out of fear.
Status is stagnation –
movement stymied
current lacking
Only the constant
thrum of winged
pests belligerence
punctures stillness,
irritates – its hard
shelled turquoise
body reminiscent
of Halcyon days,
Caribbean sunsets.
What evil virus has
cemented me here,
strangled nomadic
dreams, mired me
in polluted waters
imbued with cruel
uncertainty, faith-
less, immobilized
by incomprehensible?
(Watery Stagnation first appeared in August, 2016, and is edited here.
I navigate sharp twists,
confront rough trails,
steep slopes, swoon
at dizzying heights,
frailty felt.
This path is for rugged,
mountain-born,
those accustomed
to the sheer immutable
force of rock –
and yet, my lens
tells a different tale –
speaks of shadows
shifting witnesses
mutations of colour
describes a giant
whose facade reflects
the day’s passing light,
demonstrates compassion
in earth’s stillness.
(Mountain first appeared in February of 2018, inspired by the Apache Trail, Arizona.  Watercolour image by yours truly.)
Is this life-play pre-staged –
reservations made in childhood
when fun constituted priority,
and drama thrived, unchecked
by adults, bemoaning authority,
too self-absorbed to conceive
consequences beyond jest?
Or did some karmic assessment
initiate the unfolding –
social standing, and needs
prescribed as lessons,
dependents selected as inspiration,
and if so, is there a contract
revealed upon ultimate exit
or a certificate of completion
securing passage upwards?
If death is sleep
then surely I am close –
body leaden
refuses to budge,
brain a slow crawl
I would feel something –
remorse, fear, confusion –
but the weight of slumber
has numbed senses,
reaction sludge
only a drum, drum
of heart harkens
life’s continued spark –
What thread of will
keeps me hanging on,
surely sleep preferable?
(Myalgic Encephalomyelitis is characterized by exhaustion after exertion. Â The fatigue is systemic. )
Isolated, insulated, ignored –
islands we are not –
relationships define us –
we dance,
weave,
intertwine
stories grown
from love,
struggle,
encounters
Yearning for love’s
reciprocity innate –
to delight in discovery,
sludge through pain,
emerge stronger
markers of existence.
(Revisiting older pieces with a new eye. Â Existence first appeared July 2013.)