Pain no longer a threat
having found numbness –
semi-permanent vacation
from insistence of
chronic battles,
this unchosen life.
(Image from personal collection)
Pain no longer a threat
having found numbness –
semi-permanent vacation
from insistence of
chronic battles,
this unchosen life.
(Image from personal collection)
She sits with me at breakfast,
follows me to the park,
hovers on the drive home,
celebrates when I lie down,
snuggles in with warming pad,
and moans…
Not a companion
I would have chosen,
preferred the active,
athletic life, and yet
She complains with me
in the afternoon, invites
excuses during dinner,
grounds me in the evenings
and tosses me at bedtime
Not a companion
I would have chosen,
but at least I’ll grant her this –
she’s chronically devoted.
She’s not in the kitchen
presiding over preparations,
thriving amidst the chatter,
tutting away thieving fingers.
She’s not in the classroom,
mastering subjects,
upholding order,
ruling with charitable hand.
Nor is she at social affairs,
head bent in rapt attention,
smiling cordially,
gracious with compassion.
The Queen is missing –
the poise and composure
that marked her carriage
has vanished without a trace.
Don’t ask the old woman
tottering down the lane,
stooped and stumbling –
she’s not all there.
Her mind’s a trickster,
her ego a petulant child,
unwilling to concede wrong –
she’s merely the court jester.
(The Queen is Missing first appeared August of 2015.)
Sky darkens
burdened clouds
release sorrow
in empathy
body throbs –
aching harmonics.
(Twitter Tuesday @Vjknutson)
Unsettled,
worry’s guest –
change binds me,
spineless…
this waiting is venom,
caution enticing,
pursue transformation,
big, small – and diversion
to eliminate the parasites.
Intellect needs a cure,
neediness burdensome –
taking charge messy.
Responsibility my own.
Majesty is a tree
quiet strength
and vulnerability
no more sheltered
from acts of nature
than I – none
impenetrable,
although youth
believes it –
days when strength
equates with rigidity,
resistant arrogance
A right fighter, was I,
iron will, in control –
never measuring up
such foolish nonsense –
destructive, no doubt,
took illness to educate
recognize courage in
withdrawal, merits
of inviting understanding
physical limitations
birth potential –
gracious acceptance
surrender of struggle
open, vulnerable,
rooted, like a tree.
Grateful for the wilder times,
days when daring ruled –
amassed fodder for stories,
harmless antics eliciting
laughter – ever more sweet
as body fails, nothing left
but to reminisce.
(Twitter Tales. Â Visit me @Vjknutson.)
Sunday morning runners
pass by bay window,
oozing life, while I strain
to catch a glimpse, movement
tenuous – irony of life
rendered surreal
by chronic illness.
(Twitter Tuesday. Â For more Twitter poems find me @Vjknuton.)
That day, crossing the parking lot,
raven swooped past, snake in clasp –
I took it as a sign, hurried my steps.
The ward nurse stopped me,
revealed the end was near,
appointed me bearer of news.
Me, whom you loved to hate –
lashed with brash comments,
unforgiving of my youth.
Unsurprising, your wrath,
and then the threats –
to be cut from your will
Deeply ingrained the need
to hate, to blame – lawyer
didn’t comply, I remained
Represented you in death,
sorry for a life of lies ,
how often you had to pretend
to love men,
to not be lonely,
that alcohol solved all
Miss you even now –
your caustic presence
irreplaceable, left a hole.
Don’t regret finding you,
getting help, staying
bedside as death knocked.
You’d do the same –
intrinsically linked,
the raven and the snake.
(Linked to Reena’s Exploration Challenge where the prompt is to write about sudden, magical events.)
Dank, this current state,
mildew and rotten fruit,
the stench of redundancy –
crave the petrichor of hope,
the aroma of fresh soil
singing praises of rebirth.