Toxicity

Sold my soul for union –
destruction built-in

Narcissism is a bastard
luxuriates in self-catering

Did not anticipate loss –
innocence slaughtered

Force to grow sensibility
don a tough shell –

Would not let betrayal
call me by name.

It was not meandering
that shredded my heart

but the loss of a child
caught in the crossfire

too young to discern
parental alienation.

(Image from personal collection.)

Afterglow

Euphoric, I wrap myself
in the silent aftermath
Love’s vibration
still aglow
push aside
the fear
the effort
it took
to get here
bask in the moment,
glorious –
tomorrow, I’ll cry.

(Tuesday, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson.  Linking up with Eugi’s Causerie, whose weekly prompt is glorious.  Image from personal collection.)

Isolation’s Hold

Disability covets isolation –
this stripped-back, box-like state.

Rustic serenity, with room
to breathe would be preferable

but old memories creep in, and
lack of self-worth leaves the door open

phantoms of former torments
unwanted visitors, shadowy

invaders target loneliness,
misconstrue lack of health

for neediness, prey on weak –
hearted, presume incapability.

I am unwell, not unwanted, effort
to protest ignored, I grow wary of

fellow travellers, am vandalized by
nightly attacks, attempt to reach out

aim for strength, logic, clarity,
dial-up past abuse instead, cannot

fathom the purpose of unsolicited
persecution, grasping at isolation.

(Isolation’s Hold was first written in June of 2017.  I am resubmitting it here for Reena’s Exploration challenge: isolation.  Seems to me is also reflective of the times.  Image from personal collection.)

Return to Center

Centred, I project merit
directed by routines
grief securely stored

Anxiety, not so compartmentalized
reveals that I am outsider, pliable,
pursues a validating response.

Perfectionism despises vulnerability
balance embraces contradictions
complexity overwhelms – I breath.

(Image from personal collection.)

Glorious Morning

Cardinal sings me awake
promises a verdant day
viburnum scented breezes
and the sun’s warming light.

(Tuesdays, I borrow a poem from Twitter @Vjknutson.  Image from personal collection.  Linking this up with my weekly challenge, which is morning.  Also linking up with Eugi’s Causerie prompt of the week: song.)

Corporate Inequality

Wore green shoes –
a shock of colour
to highlight business –
attire aimed to succeed.

Walked ten blocks
rode fourteen floors
passed security,
heels continually clicking.

Navigating male-dominated
passages, I was driven
ignored patronizing comments
exercised for corporate ladder

But the lies, the betrayal,
the dirty little secrets,
they taunted me –
sold me out in back rooms

Broke under pressure
vile accusations, improper
propositions – How did
gender equate with progress

How did firmness of pert
breasts, the flash of muscled
calves, exempt me from rising –
Why should my efforts fall short

By refusals to drop my panties
and who could I go to –
boss and boss’s boss
all male, in on the plots

Big business banking –
financially fruitful
personally demoralizing –
I walked away, morals intact.

(For Reena’s Exploration Challenge:featured image.   Sexual harassment was rampant during the 70’s and 80’s.   Although we have known progress, the struggle for equality continues.)

Current Confusion

Project importance on institutions
confused about what is legitimate

You see, I am worn out,
stunned by reality.

Officials promote chaos
critical thinking a stretch

Anyway, I’m anxious,
almost off the rails.

How do I pull back the strings
that control these emotions

disconnect from the idiocy
allow clarity to guide choices?

(Image from personal collection.)

 

Familial Legacy

“…too young to notice
how fear persists, and how
the anger that causes fear persists…”
– Immortality, by Lisel Mueller

Purposeful, this fortress
permanently ungrounded

Burdened without bearing
fear underlying motivation

Reassured that life is unfair
dedicated to defying limits

Challenged by rage
bloodline ingrained

Pulled towards inevitable
complete collapse.

(Inspired by the promptings of Reena’s Exploration challenge.  To see the full poem and prompt click here.  Image from personal collection.)