The scenery outside my window
is passing by too fast, and
I’m facing backwards, waves
of nausea disrupting the view
I focus on emotion, animated,
try to discern its origin, realize
it is misplaced; I am disoriented
laugh at the enormity of my blunder.
Girls are lucky:
just need to find the right man –
looked after for life.
Advice from a teenaged brother.
Right! I yell back,
fifty years later.
It was all a vacation –
raising the children on my own
looking for God in the midst of chaos
partners with wandering eyes
or absent…always absent…
still waiting for that “looking after”
And how did you make out, Dear Brother?
Oh, that’s right…married…
woman with a good job
willing to let you putter in the background
Guess we were both misled.
(No Idea! first appeared here November 2020. Image my own.)
This body fortress
stories untold, locked in cells
I am brick by brick
self-made, deluded – haunted
by expectation’s ruins
(Tuesdays I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own)
Rear-ended
by proverbial truck
Unexpectedly, I claim
denying accountability
Sure, I took chances
crossed the line
Rebelliously ignored
limits, road signs
Driven by compassion
open-doored willingness
Saw the danger too late
swerving only mitigated damage
Humiliated by the impact
reckless ego smarting.
(image my own)
The river will not be pushed
nor outrun – still I try
shattered pieces of my efforts
littering her banks…
Illness teaches that I cannot
flow with or keep up, but…
openness counts…the river
brings and she takes away
I am witness, beneficiary,
a voice, for her bounty, her power
Life is the river. It brings opportunity-
I partake or not; it moves on.
No use building walls; better to stand
at the edge with heart and mind willing.
Is this progress,
this decision to uproot,
cast possessions aside,
free ourselves of ties?
Can his dependency,
my dependency, endure
the transition, released
from former justifications?
We are companions
embarking on adventure,
companions retiring past
lies, redefining possibility
Or, is this more of the same,
artfully camouflaged –
a continuance of flight
from tyrannical origins?
The paths behind are jagged,
wrought with rocks and crevices
and scarred riddles, and yet;
have we not survived? Thrived?
The road ahead is expansive,
our home an ever-changing
landscape, as wide as a continent –
our minds eager to absorb…
This is progress;
we are unburdened,
free spirited, submitting
to new tests of truth.
(Poem first appeared in October, 2017. Image my own)
I fear the denouement –
the moment of reckoning
when the winding path
unravels; when intentions,
transient at best, reveal
themselves as common lies
and soul crumples before light
recognizing this is not the end.
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @ Vjknutson. Image my own.)
This pedestal of responsibility
elevates me out of reach,
out of touch, lumps together
childrenspousemothersister
Caregiver extraordinaire,
present overcrowded by
obligations, am unwell,
off topic, fed up…surely
I am other abled, have room
for more, non-martyr related –
hesitant to plan, my purpose
for being so intricately tuned
to the needs of others, should
quit while I’m ahead – silence
the noisy uncertainty, free us
all from this unhealthy game.
(Image my own. Poem first appeared on One Woman’s Quest II, September 2016)
Travelled East
in search of self
Half-family extended
unexpected warmth
Was my identity here
with stranger-brothers?
I contemplated pausing
surrendering to other
But that was sleep-walking
The distance still remains
Journey has no end
till soul has purpose
and wisdom relieves
the wounded child.
(Still Travelling first appeared here July 2020. Edited for this version. Image my own)
Despite the long and arduous journey to life, this little one remains curious. We spent a wonderful day together getting acquainted.
One Woman's Quest 