Author: VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

Mindset

Heavy Autumn sky cover
mirroring an internal gloom

I own this fight; this darkness
the trail is mine alone

Woodpecker’s drumming
fails to distract; I am submersed

Till sunlight pierces the veil
an unmistakeable allure

Gratitude, I am reminded,
always at the ready.

(Image my own)

Father, Daughter

Is a child meant
to carry her father’s legacy?
The discomfort of his skin
rubbing against her dreams
till she is fallen, raw,
paralyzed and unable to flourish?

Is a daughter meant
to carry the burden
of her father’s grief?
His powerlessness hers?
His fate hers to shatter?

I wear my father’s hurt
like a personal affront
am armed to go to battle

searching for the words
that will set us both free

He lying in his grave
me, awake and able.

(Photo collage my own)

Fatigued

Brazen sunlight
accosts my eyelids
bruising my senses

I rail against this day
rising an affront
to my body’s begging

Sleep a little longer
she moans, daylight
holding no sway
over heavy limbs

The sparring has begun –
a daily ritual of coaxing
and empty promises

I cannot will away the illness
that champions this ring –
batters me every time

Am I heroic or a fool
to think that mind
can defeat matter
that will can eliminate
inertia?

The brashness
of morning light
no balm for
endless exhaustion.

Nature of Relations

Is this estrangement self-imposed
or does my awkward rapture
set me aside?

More engaged in recording nature
than in ordinary banter –
find the portal to human interaction
passing questionable

throngs focus on such peculiarities
while I attempt sketching relations
trees akin to cousins,
and birds happily possessing my soul

we are escapees –
alternate beings
charged with renewal.

(Sketch my own)