Dare I confess
the hollowness
of my heart
How emptiness
echoes in its chambers
How lost I feel inside
This is no sanctity
no secure refuge
my withdrawal is a sham
I stand by, observe –
circles entwine, embrace –
recognize the power of love
Practice the words
extend warmth
and retreat, before
connection ignites
convinced as I am
that the vacancy is merited.
(Image from personal collection.)
But for the beating of heart –
a discordant rhythm –
I am obliterated by fog –
numbness of unanticipated loss
clouded by dreams misted over –
I await sun’s return….
We’ll buy a boat,
he promised,
spend our days adrift
on a sea of possibilities.
So, she waited,
tethered her hopes
with ropes of whimsy
to a future with sails.
But years passed and
time revealed that words
hold no water, and lies
are no vessel for love.
Now, she contemplates
oceans, photographs
sailboats, docked –
possibilities set aside.
Mother is fearful,
time slipping through her fingers,
loneliness enveloping her.
I hold space for her in my thoughts,
my heart aching in beat with hers.
Guilt tosses me up and down –
inadequacy knows no bests.
In darkened room
I lie, willing blackness
to obliterate blackness.
A scream, unearthed
from dankness
shatters the silence,
echoes off heartless walls,
shock waves reverberate
relentless torment
seventeen years…
committed, no…
dedicated
ripped away
leaving me
nothing
I fall, spiral
reel out of control
breaking down
tomorrow,
the children will return
the house will fill again,
and I will pick up
these shards,
piece together
some semblance
of normalcy,
and begin
to rebuild
in the dark.
(Written for dVerse pub, where Lillian is hosting with a challenge to focus on time: “To everything there is a season…”)
Like a wanted woman,
I hide in public places
One step ahead of recognition,
ignoring friendly gestures,
leaving confusion in my wake
I’m tired of this game,
the pretence – long only
to turn myself in
tear away the mask
and announce
my presence
but I’m afraid –
could lose it all –
career, reputation
all for a crime I did not commit.
Oh wait…I already did –
just like a wanted woman…
(Image from personal collection. My images, some with poetry are now available through Society6. I’d love it if you’d check us out and leave feedback.)
I search for sustenance
with indifference –
have difficulty navigating
the aisles of available options.
Divorced from former dreams,
I hunger for renewed inspiration,
encounter only loss and confusion.
Goddess advises, and I,
ear-closed irritated,
hear only assertions
of inadequacy.
I exit possibility,
have lost the vessel
that once propelled me.
(Linking up to Reena’s Exploration Challenge #70)
Even lamplight cannot penetrate
the obliteration of blizzard white –
the icy absence between us.
Red was the colour of our passion,
now red is the colour of this box
words spoken in confinement
condensation blurring sensibility –
the muffled sound of ringing,
too cold, too frozen in disbelief
to hang up,
move on,
seek warmth.
(Inspired by the image supplied by Willow Poetry for her weekly challenge: What Do You See?)
No more than fringe,
dangling in the aftermath,
waiting to unravel,
too numb to tighten bonds.
Despondent.
Will you take my hand,
offer compassion,
listen with me
to the discordant silence,
be my faith?
(Written for Sammi Cox Weekend Writing Prompt: fringe)
Loneliness –
abandoned and rejected,
grieves unrestrained,
then hesitantly,
willingly,
opens to possibility,
discovering hope,
connection,
in solitude –
not alone
in solitude
connection
discovers hope,
opens to possibility,
hesitantly,
then willingly,
grief releases,
abandons and rejects
loneliness.
(Frank Hubeny is the host tonight for the dVerse Pub, and he challenges to write a reverse poem. I found this one in my archives (2015) and with a little tweaking, I think it work.)
One Woman's Quest 