Once I counted your love
on daisy petals –
loves me, loves me not
Followed you to Aberdeen
where the grey wafted
like haar off the sea
Everything cold –
cruelty of avarice
absence of compassion.
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own)
We are not islands:
isolated,
insulated,
to be ignored.
We are hearts engaged
in a relational dance:
intertwining stories,
weaving new tales
Yearning for love’s reciprocity
Delighting in wonder of discovery
Slugging through painful demise
Striving to be better
We build walls,
construct towers,
follow paths leading nowhere –
the pitfalls of our quest
Artificial barriers:
lofty ideals,
dead ends…
and still we push on
Dreaming of hands that hold
and gentle waters – soothing
and warm – passionate kisses:
Love’s rewards
We exist
not for accumulation
but for the gifts that arise
when open hearts dance
(Image my own)
This ache,
this searching
how rawly
I feel your absence
Selfishly ignoring
your heart
reaching out
trying to connect
a lifetime of circling
without closing the gap
Ironic
illusion
of distance
So much I want to say,
yet the oppression of opposition
stomps heavily on my airways
cutting off the flow
Daughter of a trans father
mother contemplating MAiD –
embroiled in controversy,
I see only injustice
Cannot fathom the hatred
the railing against books
and glamour, and science,
misappropriation of christianity
How am I supposed to grieve;
take up arms for those I love,
when I am silenced before I speak
judgments cast without a thought?
If I could have a word,
if anyone would listen
I would share, perhaps insight
into the lives of secrets held
Describe how hearts wilt
beneath cruelty of suppression
how torn apart we become
ignorance voiding authenticity
I would tell you of the horrors
that dwelt within our homes
the fear of discovery, of rejection
how ugly it all felt….until
Education offered explanation
and in that opening
we saw potential to climb out
from our shadowy existence
embrace a life in which our love
is neither tainted nor deviant
and tell me please, as I try to listen
how such hopefulness is sin, after all.
(Image my own)
Melancoly drags –
one young lovelorn foot stuck in
regret’s muddy path –
ignores what is near, mistakes
what if for what is. Tragic.
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter. Image my own)
Like Atlas, I bear
the world’s weight
call it responsibility –
a painful delusion
requiring walls
Life has its own rhythm –
light and dark,
joyous and sorrowful –
orchestration outside
of my domain
Love, however,
is limitless
in its capacity –
open-hearted acceptance
protection in itself.
Trading one focus
for another
permits appreciation –
I vow to assert love
and forgo control.
What if loyalty purchased this house
and commitment co-signed?
We’d take out a mortgage
based on love – interest only
What if our foundation was spiritual
and our walls cornerstones of faith?
We’d furnish our home with joy
and leave room for wonder.
Can you imagine the possibilities
if we dedicated this life to service,
if we made our marriage the hub,
found a reason for being?
The ingredients are all here –
so where’s the hesitation?
Let’s turn off the screens
and tune into what can be.
(Image my own)
Revisiting capacity –
this old heart
more accommodating
than once imagined
Awe-inspiring
this perspective
wealth undiscovered
the fullness of being
Jealousy, such bile,
gnaws away at resolve
if I am not careful –
challenging, but I am wilful
Stay focused
task by task
there is no loss
in colouring the world
love rose
only endless bounty.
Euphoric, wrapped
in silent aftermath,
love’s vibration
still aglow
Push aside
the fear
the effort
it took
to get here
Bask in the moment –
tomorrow, I’ll cry.
(In The Moment first appeared here in December, 2019. Image my own.)
Pockets of light
illuminate the shore:
day submitting to dark
I trace the lines
of our passage
remembering
How winds and tides
shaped us; how carelessly
we wasted time…
Danced around
our solitudes –
imitating intimacy
(Tuesdays, I borrow from Twitter @Vjknutson. Image my own)
One Woman's Quest 