The certainty of yesterday
has slipped our grasp
light deflecting truth
tosses us into the abstract
I ponder process
and outcomes,
will my mind to carry me
gliding between thermals
dissolving into vapours
Some realities
too hard to bear –
dislodged
we tread the indeterminate.
(Poem originally appeared on One Woman’s Quest II, December ’19. Image my own)
Ice has blown in overnight
tree branches coated,
sparkling…
… I search for a word
evasive, my fogged brain
having released so many
to the void…
“Varnish?” I ask aloud
“What’s that?” comes an answer
my son-in-law always helpful
spies my hand on butcher block
“Do you mean the finish on the wood?
That’s varnish, yes.”
“No.” I bite my trembling lip.
Indicate the scene outside the window,
the tree with its new shiny coat
“Like varnish!” he exclaims
“That works.”
“Nature’s varnish!” I proclaim
Creativity –
a sometimes bi-product
of a faulty mind.
(Image my own)
All the fading bits
detract – I am still alive,
passion asserting
(Living with chronic illness, the onset of Winter can be a very discouraging time. I write to remind myself that I am not that easy to deter. )
In isolation, I am rock –
solid, fearless, present
Memories are moon-bows –
miracle of love, whispers
of what might have been
Will not let current fear
shape me; I am tethered
to faith, gently gliding.
(Image my own)
I’m returning the jewels
loaned to me
Settling
for smaller trinkets…
…a teddy bear
a paper parasol…
I know it’s been a while
but I haven’t forgotten
It’s harder these days
relying on others
Accommodations unnerve
so I stay away…
…a silver ring
a hat for Teddy…
It’s enough really
I haven’t much to spend
but your faith in me
means a lot
and warmed by our connection
I’m willing to invest…
I don’t need diamonds or pearls
just trinkets to remind me…
(Image my own)
Happenstance welcome,
dreamer that I am
Loyal to memories
and committed to progress
Professional ambitions unrequited,
I seek new avenues…
Failure a nag
provokes hesitation
Let me be!
I am independent!
This path is unique
and while I dwell
in contemplation of what ifs
I recognize my challenges,
the unreliability of illness,
expect no encores
Easier to focus
on what I can master
today.
(Watercolour mine)
Eventuality
of gravity
is bona fide –
Flesh is not iron
Minds, however,
can strengthen,
if nurtured with
open compassion
Spirits plummet
and revive, buoyant
as the grace that
serves them.
(This I Know first appeared on Twitter. Image my own)
Please forgive the dance,
but it is what I do –
one step forward,
then slide back,
shuffle and lose the rhythm
and start again.
Always reaching forward –
heart securely tucked in place –
but there is something embedded,
cellular – that invites the struggle
and so…I dance –
yesterday a warrior,
today the fool,
tomorrow only knows
multi-faceted,
roughly cut,
a gem
of an undefined hue,
I will always try again.
(Forgive the Dance first appeared on One Woman’s Quest II, September 2019. Image my own)
I am visible, yet hiding –
balancing a vitality-blocking
disorder that renders me
inanimate, repulsive –
Who doesn’t flinch
in the face of deviancy?
Creativity obsesses
grasps hope that courage
will annihilate the beast,
that resourcefulness
is all it takes to overcome –
Hold on! it cries, nestled
deep within the grief –
Oh, you think you see me,
but I assure you, my friend,
you do not – I am rebel,
lost in isolation, vulnerability
fantasizing revolution –
Resolve trapped between
the exaggeration of infinite
possibility and the unremarkable
defence of compulsion to survive –
thrive even, if spirit was not
so aghast at current setbacks.
(Image my own)
The garments of past successes
are not lost in life’s shuffle
but reapplied with new panache
What once served to polish presentation
now accentuates gained wisdom –
service is service
whether salaried
and noteworthy
or humbly given
I apply my passion to a higher cause
and am rewarded with space to grow
and companionship along the way
Discovering that life experience
bears worth – a liberating
and empowering awakening.
(Image my own)
One Woman's Quest 