Tenuous

It’s not like I didn’t know
that life is tenuous
and death a given

I chose to ignore the signs –
seems that which we avoid
has a way of catching up

I pin-balled my way
searching for something
undefinable

A break from responsibility?
a Saviour?
Condemned myself as failure

Sentenced to a lifetime
of love lacking
How does one traverse such margins?
Re-engage in the face of rejection?

I have pen,
and thoughts,
and maybe
if I bleed enough,
the path will be revealed.

(Image my own)

Pestilence of Words

Words, like crickets, leap inside my head –
chirping pests whose trajectory eludes
my dulled reflexes, scuttles about
the periphery of awareness.

Harmless in the singular,
a cacophony of multitudes
threaten any semblance
of sanity.

I strive to intuit their rhythm
define the notes in workable phrases
capture the message before
it all disappears again.

(Art my own)

Concessions

Squatters fill the corners
of my unused mind,
a constant clatter
detracting from intention

Incensed by the implication –
how others have used me –
how boundaries have no effect

I demand they leave…
Futility at its best

Then I hear the child cry
a tug on my undernourished heart
certain of her need unattended

I will take her in my arms
seek out accountability
find only neglect
and manipulation

Flatter myself that I, alone
can save her –
let the intrusion be

more fodder, I concede
for the pen…

(Image my own)

Slave

You may believe, Dear Reader,
that the words are mine to command
that I carefully contrive the message
form and structure succumbing
to my direction, syntax following suit

It has not been my intention to deceive
but, you see, I am mere slave to the whim
words hold the power, strangle my thoughts,
demand expression – they are haunting things,
rooted in urgency, and unwilling to bend

I would love to accept praise, pretend
a wisdom that is not mine, but words…
…well, they are born of some alien seed
growing within, nurtured I know not how,
and I am merely the vessel through which
their staccato voyage unravels

Stubborn as they are, silly things, really –
although I dare not say, for they can be vengeful
and vile, and I prefer the fluid passage
of expression than the painful, tearing,
slashing of words – monstrous as they can be
I  am rendered servant by their insistence

(Image my own)

Pestilence

Words, like crickets,
leap from my mind –
chirping pests
whose trajectory
eludes my dulled
reflexes, scuttling
around the periphery
of my awareness

Harmless, really,
in the singular,
a cacophony
in multitudes
threatening
to multiply further
and destroy any
semblance of sanity

I must intuit
their rhythm,
define the notes
in workable phrases,
capture the essence
of their meaning
and inscribe the message
before they disappear again.

(Pestilence of Words first appeared on One Woman’s Quest II, October 2016. Edited for this edition. Image my own.)