Momentarily displaced –
a stranger, settled into
someone else’s comfort –
cumbersome in my own skin,
flirting with depression –
needy, not in control
attempt a facade, but
bored with connections –
dominance creeping,
sleeping, I reject warmth
Iced over.
Been taking inventory,
gathering essentials,
craving nourishment,
coming up lacking –
cartoon version of a former self.
Spirituality, once fiery
now looms over me,
a stilted attempt to uplift –
redefinition of self –
grossly overstated.
I have been locked up,
misread, am unkempt,
a dishevelled mess –
childish demonstrations
proclaiming innocence.
All the while mouthing
nothingness – exaggerated
exuberance, tiring even me –
have destroyed compassion
with carelessness
I would embrace Spirit,
be comforted by that old familiar
warmth, declare faith
and be absolved of guilt,
but I am too far gone.
One Woman's Quest 