Author: VJ

Permission to write, paint, and imagine are the gifts I gave myself when chronic illness hit - a fair exchange: being for doing. Relevance is an attitude. Humour essential.

All I Need

All I need is a pair of pink boots,
the audacity to wear my hair
as if no one is looking,
the nonchalance to wear skirts
even on the days I plan to climb,
to adopt a no-limits, thumbs-up
attitude and smile triumphant
as if my world is a bubble
of contentment, needs met,
and no worries about
tomorrow – then I’d be
on top of the world.

Zen In Hand

A dear friend of mine passed away recently. She was a potter, and the gifts of her creations fill my home. This poem by Jazz J is as exquisitely crafted as Nadine’s works. I share it with you today to honour both women.

Jazz Kendrick's avatarstepsandpauses

March 16, 2018.  This poem emerged while studying Zen poets – mostly male, but one female poet made the syllabus.  Otagaki Rengetsu (1791–1875) became a Japanese Buddhist nun and one of the country’s most respected female artists – combining her poetry, calligraphy, and pottery.  She learned from Kyoto potters and decorated her rough and rugged bowls, cups, and other vessels with her poetry, either painted on or scored into the clay in flowing calligraphy. Orders from tea masters and others kept her very busy.  This collage of found images shows both her pottery and calligraphy styles.

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Retreat

Immersed in the spiritual –
not yet fully present –
participating,
considering
new beginnings,
openings

so much easier
to go back to sleep
leave the living
to the younger
more energetic

generations
surpassing me
clued in to
technology,
modern nuances

yet, even they
slumber, lulled
by a confidence
I too once donned,
before immersing
myself in the spiritual.

History Lesson

Adolescence holds lessons,
I failed to absorb, the leap
into adulthood premature.

Have a son of my own now,
wish to guide him to solace,
help him to settle into a place

where the sky is prominent,
teach him to live without
walls, proud and confident

but I fear the price is too steep
that he will not manage the cost,
recognize that the legacy lives on

that he too has been thrust into
adulthood, a product of his mother’s
failure – an example poorly set.

Building on Uneven Ground

We are builders –
constructing isolation
with fortified walls
imagining security
in separation.

We are battlers –
projecting foes
in outer forces
ignoring the dangers
of faulty foundations.

How warped are the stories
on which we lay our floors;
how misguided our efforts?

We need level ground
on which to erect stability,
a balanced understanding
cemented in commitment,

a universal, master plan
motivated by communal
accessibility, developed
with careful consideration.

Alas, we are consumers –
trusting the blueprints
of those whose architectural
designs are self-serving.

What price will we pay
for residing in a house
dangerously slanted
towards destruction?

Snapshot of L.A.

Batman cruises by in a compact,
adjusts his speed for a photo-op,
and the woman in front applies
mascara without slowing down –
all on the way to Los Angeles.

My eyes burn in the smog
where traffic creeps along
the freeway like post- concert
attendees pushing their way
out of the crowd, and I wonder

are they visitors like us, or
trapped in this swell of compressed
stress, immune to the claustrophobia
of L.A. where elegance poses next to
the indecorous, apparently desensitized?

We lunch in Marina del Ray –
watch grebes swim amongst
the yachts, while the woman
next to us, with over-plumped
lips, has difficulty enunciating

and I try not to gawk, but she
is loud and sends shards of light
scattering everytime she moves
drawing attention to blonde,
boobs, and leathered skin.

We drive up Sunset Boulevard,
entranced by the towering trees,
and stop at a neighbourhood
Starbucks, where moms in spandex
buy frothy drinks for school-aged kids

and mutter under grimacing breath
about ex-husbands, and rigorous
routines; and we ponder the cost
of real estate, as we coast past homes
sets atop hilltops with ocean views

before rejoining the parking-lot
highway, inching our way back
to the suburbs, still choking on
far-reaching pollutants, mountain
views clouded in a haze of disdain.

(Our visit to L.A. is documented on One Woman’s Quest II.)

Particulars of Peace

The past is a narcissist,
Assumes forgiveness
encourages participation
makes promises to restore
harmony, but the walls
of his imprisoning nature
seldom change – stay away

I seek a place, nestled
in the present, where
I can dwell in simplicity –
nothing too taxing on mind
or pocketbook, a modest
abode with room for a pen
and an outdoor kitchen

Burdened by sensitivity
life becomes deplorable,
I can abide the presence
of dog, but never cat –
allergies create restrictions
makes finding the perfect
place for respite difficult

The numerology of 8
would be preferable
a figure demonstrating
balance – as above, so
below – could settle into
eight with confidence
reassure my partner
that I’ve found peace.

 

A Poem’s Life

No value
have these words –
splotches on white –

no meaning
structure worthless –
two-dimensional

until eyes curious
willing to linger
invite order

add focus,
insert experience
inject emotion

paint the page
with resonance
bring a poem to life.

(A thank you to all my dear readers, whose support gives me so much encouragement and brings my words to life.)